Be There

Schedule Your Grief

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Two people can face the same loss and walk away with completely different lives. The variable was never the circumstance. It's the innerstance. In this solo episode, Alan tells the story of the 17 minutes between learning his mentor Jim Hesseman had passed and sitting down to coach a couple who were counting on him — and the two reframes that turned him from a man owned by grief into one who could choose his way through it.

Reflective questions for the listener

  1. What emotion have you been waiting on your circumstances to give you permission to feel?
  2. Is there a grief, or a hard feeling, you've been bracing against instead of giving an appointment to?
  3. Which of the three levers — what you see, what you say, what you do — is easiest for you to reach for first?

    4. Chapters 

    00:00 The text at 3:43

    00:29 Who Jim was
    04:41 When grief used to own me
    07:13 Schedule your grief
    08:27 Choose your emotion
    09:42 The 17 minutes
    14:04 Innerstance over circumstance
    15:32 You are what you feel
    15:47 Feel it first (Dispenza)
    17:41 The Triad (Robbins)
    22:11 Tribute to Jim and how to help

     

    Frameworks and sources credited

    • Jim Hesseman — Air Care Alliance President, founder of White Feather Flight, 2023 National Aeronautic Association honoree.
    • Vincent Van Gogh — letter to Theo (“the little emotions are the great captains of our lives”).
    • Dr. Joe Dispenza — Becoming Supernatural.
    • Tony Robbins — Awaken the Giant Within (The Triad).

      • Call to action

      Honor Jim's legacy. Volunteer as a pilot or refer someone who needs a free flight to medical care at angelflightwest.org.

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      Be ThereBy Alan Underwood