It’s good to be wanted and needed, and it usually feels really good to help the people in our lives… as long as that relationship is in balance.

But what about when it’s not, when we’re doing for others what they could (and should) be doing for themselves? Whether that comes out of guilt, coercion, or a need to fulfill ourselves, it’s an unhealthy relational imbalance called “Co-Dependency.”

This week we talk about productive, relationship-friendly ways to identify and manage our co-dependent relationships. Because we could all use a little more balance.

 This Week’s Listener Question:

My parents are both in their 80’s and needing more help around the house and assistance with daily living. I feel obligated to help more and more. What’s the difference between healthy caregiving and co-dependency?

Small Group Questions:

1.  After hearing Christine’s definition of co-dependency, where do you think you might be over-functioning in your relationships?

2. What cultural narratives have you inherited from your family around care-giving?

3.  What conversations do you need to have with family members about boundaries and expectations when it comes to topics like household chores, responsibilities, end of life decisions…?

4.  What steps could you take to back out of an over-functioning or co-dependent relationship?

 Resources:

Co-Dependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

by Melody Beattie

Codependent No More

Yardsticks: Child and Adolescent Development Ages 4-14 by Chip Wood 

Yardsticks

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