I realized that no matter what physically I did to help me with my excessive sweating, in my mind, I was still a person who excessively sweat. It still controlled me. It still ran my life. I still had all of the shame, all of the embarrassment. All of the social anxiety that I had growing up. It was still all there.
Botox stopped the excessive sweat, but it didn't change who I was. I didn't get to enjoy the feeling of sweating less because in my mind, I still identified as a person that sweat too much.