Ugh. This is hard.

So many of us are sandwiched between our kids and our aging parents with difficult decisions coming down the pike. We invited Julie Latson, an expert in helping families figure out what their options are when a family member starts needing care, including navigating how it’s going to get paid for, to walk us through what this all looks like.

This is the episode where we realize we have no idea what our own definitions of “quality of life” mean, much less how we could decide that for someone else.

Planning for family care isn’t just about money (although, I mean, it can be hella expensive). It’s also about getting and giving information about our wishes (and our family members’) now, before they’re needed in an emergency. I believe Julie’s quote was: “If you’re thinking about it, it’s time to start planning.” Uh oh.

The bad news is it turns out we’re all aging and will eventually die.

The good news is that Julie provides great info to help guide us through the process:

- Why you should review your medical power of attorney - and what happens if no one really knows your wishes.

- The real costs of in-home versus facility care ( “I want to stay home at all costs” is a major financial planning red flag).

- Practical steps to take before a crisis hits, from family meetings to understanding insurance coverage.

This is all real, and hard, and a bit overwhelming. So, come do it with us.

Oh! And Julie recommended some great resources:

- Here’s the Aging Life Care Association to find your own Julie

- Age Your Way by Debbie Pearson R.N.

- The Age Your Way workbook that goes along with the book.

- Being Mortal by Atul Gawande

FYI: Julie has moved on from her position at CareFor.

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This episode was edited by our co-producer Kelly West. Music by Bad Bad Hats and Devmo.