This episode began with two questions:

1. Why do we construct barriers to our self-care, to our healing, to our liberation?
2. How can we tear down those barriers?

All around me, I saw people (myself included!) creating false prerequisites to self-care.

I call these "false," beacause there is no prerequisite to self-care. There's nothing you have to earn, because you're already worthy.

We need to dissolve hierarchies and get rid of the self-judgment so that we can access our self-care. Because there are enough barriers already without us standing in our own way.

The shadow question for this episode: How do we do this to others as well, in terms of who we advocate for? Are you still using the good activist/bad activist dichotomy?

Links and resources for this episode

• The Art of Self-Advocacy Course
• The Self-Advocacy Manifesto
• The Difference Between Self-Care and Self-Advocacy
• Book: Trauma Stewardship
• Comic, via Everyday Feminism: No, We Won't Calm Down
• The Patreon Community

Definitions

Tone policing is a tactic designed to silence or end debate by invalidating an argument based on its tone, language, or emotionality—rather than the facts or message itself. Often used by groups with privilege to define the parameters of the discussion based on their definitions of "civility" in order to avoid discomfort.

Homework Assignment

I want you to spend some time considering where you are limiting yourself care unnecessarily where you are putting up barriers between you and feeling good between you and having fun. You can email me about it at [email protected] or tag me on Instagram @ChristyTending

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