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The self checkout can only offer you what it is programmed to offer, the same thought process should be used when dealing with an EX-Spouse that have to have continued communication with after the relationship has ended. Stop expecting them to give you more that they want to. a lot of times the interactions with them is simply just a transaction, to get what you or they need and move on with their day! There is nothing wrong with that either, what is wrong is wanting more from the transaction