Self-defeating speech that keeps you from moving forward also has a lot to do with playing the role of a victim. It's the speech about what they said against you, it hurt my spirit, I am the blacksheep of the family, I am always being put down, they don't love me, look at how they always treat me. I get it, but how long will we allow what other people say and do affect what we perceive of ourselves? We have to change that narrative; those thought processes are planted in our minds because we allowed them to set up residence in our hearts. We began to believe what we were told, accept the mistreatment as though it was a gift. What we should have done is reject it and not allow it to form a root inside our hearts and minds.

What if the way you feel about yourself is based on misperception from hurt that came from someone expressing something to you, and you didn't clarify what they were saying to you? It is up to us to get clarity. The problem is that we are afraid of asking for clarity or afraid of confrontation, so we choose to hold on to a perception of what we think someone said to us as an offense. Until you decide to start questioning things that are being said, you will continue to be wounded by the misperceived notion from your own mind. A lot of times, we are in bondage to our own thought processes. It's sad because no one can get you out of it but you. When will you begin to take back what you lost? You are the only one who can build your self-esteem back up.

My question today is, what are you waiting on? Are you waiting for the pats on the back, the encouraging words to get you motivated to do better, think better of yourself? What if it never comes? Will you choose to stay in a place of defeat because of those who you thought hurt you? Or even if it's true that someone hurt you, when will you decide to tear down those negative thoughts placed on you by the enemy? They were designed to keep you from reaching your highest potential, it was designed to keep you from healing and being everything that the Lord knows you can be and created you to be. When will you choose freedom over bondage?

We tend to walk around with the mindset of being betrayed by someone we considered to be a friend or someone you loved, but you base it off the misperception, and in fact, it truly was a misunderstanding of the words that were used. Sometimes we don't communicate effectively, and something could be misinterpreted. If you truly want to be free, go back to the people who have said things to you that may have ruffled your feathers and ask them what they meant, and explain to them how you perceived it. Guess what this is called? Effective communication between mature individuals. In the body of Christ, this is definitely needed, because people are so emotional and take everything personally as an attack. We have to learn how to express ourselves without being angry or dismissive. We also need to learn how to receive corrective criticism, but we don't want corrections.

People correct those whom they love because they want to see them do better and accomplish things in life to their fullest potential. If someone agrees with everything you do based on not wanting to lose a friendship, then, for me, that is not a true friendship and not love. When you love one another, friend or family member, you should correct them. Why? because of love. Love wants you to succeed, even if it takes you higher than yourself or higher than the other person.

Love motivates you to do what's right and say what's right. Hate is what will keep people from telling you the truth, some say I will not tell them nothing they have to find out for themselves. This statement is hateful; it shows the nature of that person who claims to be your friend or relative. They'd rather you go through hardship than see you succeed. When someone tells you the truth if it offends you, you get mad and say stop judging me, but if you know it's true, why call it judgment? That's just you trying to stay in your destructive behaviors. The person is trying to get you to see the truth because they want something better for your life. You are just too blinded by the enemy to see the truth.

Mature people talk about issues of life and tough topics. You have to be able to express those things that hurt you or disappoint you. People are mostly afraid to ask questions because of what may be expressed to them by the other person. Listen, you cannot be afraid to ask people for clarity. Especially if there was something that offended you. If we don't seek clarity for ourselves then we will continue to be offended, our hearts will be compromised, it will affect our spiritual walk, we will deal with people based off what someone else did, we develop trust issues, unforgiveness is in our hearts, it will effect our speech, and we begin speaking negatively about others, ourselves, and situations in life. Listen, the power of life and death is in our mouths; we have to stop speaking the negative and speak the healing, the deliverance, and loosen ourselves from the bondage of our own minds. Stop the self-defeating speech, stop the self-defeating thoughts against yourself, stop cosigning what was said, and walk in freedom through Christ Jesus.

Scriptures on self-esteem or self-worth: Psalm 139:13-14 for you created my inmost being: you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made

Ephesians 2:10 For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.

Romans 5:8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us

Those scriptures encourage shifting focus from self-evaluation to divine affirmations, reinforcing that worth is a gift from God rather than earned, so stop trying to earn approval from others; the only approval you need is from the Lord.

Proverbs 27:6 Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.

Dr. Adrian Rodgers said this......It's better to speak the truth that hurts and then helps than falsehood that comforts and then kills.

Prayer: Father, I thank you for being the truth that we need, the comfort in times of adversity, and our strength in times of weakness. I thank you for loving me so much that you allowed your son to pay the final atonement for me and my sins. This was a true act of love and kindness. I ask that you comfort my heart as I continue to grow spiritually mature. I ask that you continue circumcising my heart and mind into a likeness of your word, help me to communicate effectively, teach me how to deflect the fiery darts of the enemy, that I will not be wounded by the thoughts of others, that I will not fall prey to the voice of the enemy that tries to discourage me. Help me to walk according to your will, surrendering my whole life over to you, make me whole, Lord, and free me from the bondage in my own mind. I thank you for hearing my prayer in Jesus Mighty name, Amen

As always, I pray that this has helped you see how to become free from bondage in your own minds. I pray that you be strengthened and be that overcomer in Christ Jesus. Please don't forget to subscribe, share this podcast with others who may need to heal, and you can always email me for prayer. Leave your comments, they are greatly welcomed. Love you much and have a great day.