Why do we feel shame when exploring self pleasure? Why is hearing your parents have sex the worst thing in the world? Why is porn so damn addictive? In this episode, we’re diving deep into the two words that just don’t belong together: shame and sex. When we allow the two to coexist, it simply fosters an inner message that screams “I don’t own my body” and “Pleasure is gross!” Each of us has experienced some shame around sex, whether it was from hearing your parents have sex or discovering your body at a young age. Some of you may still feel this way when touching yourself now and we’re going to tell you why. We’re breaking boundaries here, discussing the sexual nature of children and what it looks like to create a nurturing environment that eradicates shame and discomfort around sex, our genitals, and the natural exploration of pleasure. In order to allow our children to be naturally explorative, we have to do the work of holding our younger selves and removing the shame and guilt we’ve carried for years. Grab your headset, tune in, and get ready to dig deep into your own discomforts around your body, sex, and self pleasure.  Be sure to DM us on Instagram to let us know if we should remove the “no parents” part of our intro and let Mom and Dad listen to the show. Get all the juicy episode notes at  https://laceyandflynn.com/podcast/20-self-pleasure-shame   Learn more about Sex Elevated, our online course to amplify your intimacy, supercharge your sex, and slingshot you into a new dimension of pleasure, connection, and love in your relationship. Want your questions answered on the show? Submit them here.

20. Self pleasure: letting go of shame

Hi! We’re Lacey & Flynn and we f**cking love having sex together. But it wasn’t always this way. A few years ago, we were barely having sex at all. Lacey didn’t want to anymore and Flynn wasn’t happy about it. Instead of breaking up though, we decided to dig into exactly what was going on.

How was it possible we’d gone from loads of sex in that honeymoon phase to completely cold between the sheets? We began a mission to explore all the reasons sex dries up in longterm relationships and that’s what we’re bringing you in this show.

From resistance to rejection, non-existent sex drives to constant arguments, we’re going to give you the ins and outs of why your sex life isn’t working then show you what to do about it. 

After years of healing our own relationship by committing to our sex lives like it was our business, we made helping other people with their sex lives our actual business. Since then, we’ve taught thousands of singles and couples around the world via our online course Sex Elevated, how to talk about sex, how to ask for what they want, how to heal their baggage and ultimately, have epic, soulful and satisfying sex lives.

On this Podcast, we’ll be teaching you (and showing you!) everything we’ve learned through our private lives, our studies and our experience helping thousands of people in the same boat. Sometimes we’ll even have sex and break it down for you so you can actually see (well, hear) the work in action. We’ll also invite special guests into the conversation and even answer your personal questions live on the show to help you transform your relationship and sex life.

Hilarious, emotional, spiritual and 100% real, we’re leaving no stone unturned as we share the intimate workings of our sex life with you. This might make you uncomfortable. It might make you excited. If you tune in and really dig deep, this podcast will totally change not only your sex life, but how you relate to pleasure, healing, and who you are as a person.

Whether you’re in a rut, an epic relationship, looking to spice things up, or wanting to develop a more soulful intimate life, we’re going to show you what it looks like to actually do the work to make your relationship and sex life amazing. Tune in then find all the juicy details from each episode at laceyandflynn.com/podcast

Society & Culture

Personal Journals

History

Philosophy

Places & Travel

Sexuality

Health

Relationships

Health & Fitness

Hello darling listeners. Today we’re sending you another powerful listener favourite in the final week of our Greek holiday rendezvous: Have sex (even when you don’t feel like it). Because the idea of having sex when you don’t feel like it is one of our most simple but controversial concepts. So in today’s episode, which is still one of our all-time favourite episodes and as rated by you all, we’re revisiting this concept as an important reminder that “the mood” isn’t something you need to rely on for your sexual relationship.  There’s a whole other way of approaching sex, and we believe that sex can be like yoga, piano lessons, or going to the gym. So join us as we show you how sex as a practice expands beyond “the mood” and deepens into truth, communication, and authenticity to move into and heal with the physical experience.  If you've listened to this before, buckle up and listen again because you will certainly take away some new nuggets. And if this is the first time for you…  Grab your headset, tune in, and get ready to have your mind blown and learn a new framework for having successful sex.  Get all the juicy episode notes at laceyandflynn.com/podcast/58-havesex Find out more about School of Whole, Lacey’s 12-month coaching and channelling collective to help transform you from an Uninitiated Woman lacking confidence, turn-on and self-worth into a Sexually Liberated Woman who’s healed from the past, aligned to her truest desires and living a wildly satisfying life on her terms.  If you’re ready for some hot tips on how to truly connect with your partner, then grab a seat at our FREE class: 5 Steps to Connected Sex, where you’ll dig deeper into some of our best teachings like sex beyond the mood and pleasure over orgasm. Join us today at laceyandflynn.com/freeclass!  Ready to work with us to elevate your relationship? Email us at hi@laceyandflynn.com or head to laceyandflynn.com/coaching to get started.  Learn more about Sex Elevated, our online course to amplify your intimacy, supercharge your sex, and slingshot you into a new dimension of pleasure, connection, and love in your relationship.  Chat with us on Instagram. Send us a DM and tell us your experience in sex and listening to the episode. 

58. Have sex (even when you don't feel like it) [Listener Favourite]

Have you ever used sex to process your fear? We’ve been going through a chronic dry spell (well, chronic for us). The only time we’ve had sex in the last month was when we drove to another country, got a hotel room and had sex. And in a way, we left ourselves there, and it’s time to go back and get “us.”  Recently, we’ve been vacillating between moments of pure joy and gratitude and the other extreme of scarcity and conversations around the projection of our future - how do we get there, how do we solve all of our problems - and it’s had an effect on our sex life (and not getting enough sleep as parents of two certainly hasn’t helped).  In today’s episode, we’re processing these fears through sex. We discuss the reasons behind our recent dry spell, our intentions for today’s episode, and explore some of our own limiting beliefs as we try to find the right balance between aggressive and gentle in order to open our hearts and crack the armours that we’ve put up.  So, grab your headset, tune in, and get ready to learn how to remedy your fear and have a profound embodied experience by fucking the fear away.  Get all the juicy episode notes at laceyandflynn.com/podcast/55-fear  Find out more about School of Whole, Lacey’s 12-month coaching and channelling collective to help transform you from an Uninitiated Woman lacking confidence, turn-on and self-worth into a Sexually Liberated Woman who’s healed from the past, aligned to her truest desires and living a wildly satisfying life on her terms.  If you’re ready for some hot tips on how to truly connect with your partner, then grab a seat at our FREE class: 5 Steps to Connected Sex, where you’ll dig deeper into some of our best teachings like sex beyond the mood and pleasure over orgasm. Join us today at laceyandflynn.com/freeclass!  Ready to work with us to elevate your relationship? Email us at hi@laceyandflynn.com or head to laceyandflynn.com/coaching to get started.  Learn more about Sex Elevated, our online course to amplify your intimacy, supercharge your sex, and slingshot you into a new dimension of pleasure, connection, and love in your relationship.  Chat with us on Instagram. Send us a DM and tell us your experience in sex and listening to the episode. 

55. Fuck the fear away

We use our voice constantly, but are we using it fully?  Our voice is a part of who we are, and it is a part that can teach us so much more about ourselves if we only pay more attention to it. The way we use our voice to express ourselves is determined by so many different things, both physiological and psychological, and setting our voice free can help us become our true, authentic selves and live our lives to the fullest.    In today’s episode, we’re taking you on a journey of Flynn’s voice and the huge experience that inspired this episode. Join us as we explore different ways to use your voice both in and out of the bedroom, the limiting beliefs and unhealed wounds you may have when it comes to your voice, and how to free your voice and, ultimately, express yourself more fully. So, grab your headset, tune in, and get ready to learn 3 ways to unlock your voice as a man (or a woman, or anyone in between).   PS. We want your reviews! Using your iPhone, click this link and scroll down to “Ratings & Reviews,” then click “Write a Review,” and let us know what has resonated the most with you from our podcast.  Get all the juicy episode notes at laceyandflynn.com/podcast/54-unlock Find out more about School of Whole, Lacey’s 12-month coaching and channelling collective to help transform you from an Uninitiated Woman lacking confidence, turn-on and self-worth into a Sexually Liberated Woman who’s healed from the past, aligned to her truest desires and living a wildly satisfying life on her terms.  If you’re ready for some hot tips on how to truly connect with your partner, then grab a seat at our FREE class: 5 Steps to Connected Sex, where you’ll dig deeper into some of our best teachings like sex beyond the mood and pleasure over orgasm. Join us today at laceyandflynn.com/freeclass!  Ready to work with us to elevate your relationship? Email us at hi@laceyandflynn.com or head to laceyandflynn.com/coaching to get started.  Learn more about Sex Elevated, our online course to amplify your intimacy, supercharge your sex, and slingshot you into a new dimension of pleasure, connection, and love in your relationship.  Chat with us on Instagram. Send us a DM and tell us your experience in sex and listening to the episode. 

54. 3 ways to unlock your voice for men

***Trigger warning: There is a joke in this episode about sexual violence.***  People are having sex with robots.  And the sex technology market is booming and showing no signs of slowing down. We have vibrators, real dolls, sex toys, and now we have sex robots (AKA sexbots). So, where do we draw the line?  In today’s episode, we’re discussing the different ideas, feelings, and questions that came up for us after watching a BuzzFeed series episode around sex robots, real dolls, and the future of sex.  When it comes to sex toys, what’s appropriate and what’s not? When do we cross a line from sexual satisfaction to replicating human contact and connection? What effects do sexbots have on our mental health? What are the worst possible outcomes?  Join us as we explore and answer these questions and talk about the problems that can emerge when we intersect sex with technology.  So, grab your headset, tune in, and get ready to learn about sexbots and what the (scary) future of sex could look like.  Get all the juicy episode notes at laceyandflynn.com/podcast/52-sexbots  Find out more about School of Whole, Lacey’s 12-month coaching and channelling collective to help transform you from an Uninitiated Woman lacking confidence, turn-on and self-worth into a Sexually Liberated Woman who’s healed from the past, aligned to her truest desires and living a wildly satisfying life on her terms.  If you’re ready for some hot tips on how to truly connect with your partner, then grab a seat at our FREE class: 5 Steps to Connected Sex, where you’ll dig deeper into some of our best teachings like sex beyond the mood and pleasure over orgasm. Join us today at laceyandflynn.com/freeclass!  Ready to work with us to elevate your relationship? Email us at hi@laceyandflynn.com or head to laceyandflynn.com/coaching to get started.  Learn more about Sex Elevated, our online course to amplify your intimacy, supercharge your sex, and slingshot you into a new dimension of pleasure, connection, and love in your relationship.  Chat with us on Instagram. Send us a DM and tell us your experience in sex and listening to the episode. 

52. Sex robots, real dolls and the future of sex

Have you ever considered getting a 3-hour pussy massage?  Well, if you haven’t, you might after this episode.  Another word used for this energetic, spiritual, physical space is the Sanskrit word, yoni. And a yoni massage is a sensual massage that is all about releasing tension in and around your vagina, allowing you to heal and connect more deeply with your body.  In today’s episode, Lacey walks us through her experience of driving to a beautiful cabin in the woods to spend over 3 hours getting her very first yoni/pussy massage. Join us to hear her share her intentions for the session, the juicy details of the massage itself, some of the feelings and images that surfaced throughout, and the overall effect this experience had on both her mind and body.  We also talk about the importance of professional boundaries, holding space with empathy, and the challenging beliefs behind what’s considered appropriate touching.  So, grab your headset, tune in, and get ready to learn the true power of a 3-hour pussy massage. Because, to quote Flynn, “This is a fucking great episode” and will blow your mind on so many levels.  Get all the juicy episode notes at laceyandflynn.com/podcast/51-pussymassage Find out more about School of Whole, Lacey’s 12-month coaching and channelling collective to help transform you from an Uninitiated Woman lacking confidence, turn-on and self-worth into a Sexually Liberated Woman who’s healed from the past, aligned to her truest desires and living a wildly satisfying life on her terms.   If you’re ready for some hot tips on how to truly connect with your partner, then grab a seat at our FREE class: 5 Steps to Connected Sex, where you’ll dig deeper into some of our best teachings like sex beyond the mood and pleasure over orgasm. Join us today at laceyandflynn.com/freeclass!  Ready to work with us to elevate your relationship? Email us at hi@laceyandflynn.com or head to laceyandflynn.com/coaching to get started.  Learn more about Sex Elevated, our online course to amplify your intimacy, supercharge your sex, and slingshot you into a new dimension of pleasure, connection, and love in your relationship.  Chat with us on Instagram. Send us a DM and tell us your experience in sex and listening to the episode.

20. Self pleasure: letting go of shame

Download our free app to listen on your phone