In this episode of Patch Notes 3.0, the boys play a full-blown Higher / Lower showdown across five ridiculous categories: animal top speeds, movie counts for A-list actors, which sports franchises are actually older, YouTube’s most-viewed videos, and the Google popularity of cryptids (yes, really). Before the chaos: Cowboys/Jets talk, book & show updates (Silo/Wool, Lost, Breaking Bad), Serge’s push to Grandmaster in League, Speed’s 35-day IRL tour, Dua Lipa in Dallas (with Cowboys Cheerleaders), Taylor Swift jet discourse, Greek Fest & improv in ABQ, Texas State Fair food sins, and some anime notes (Infinity Castle, HxH). Serge surges ahead, Robert rallies late, Miguel hosts 192 slides like a menace. Points fly, pride’s on the line, and we crown an inaugural Higher/Lower champion.