Dating can be this overly-complicated, painful, confusing, ungrounded, whirlwind. Honestly, it can feel really hopeless at times. In this episode we talk with our experts about how to make this process less of a clusterf#ck and navigate the dating world with a fresh perspective.

This episode's experts are:

Nate Bagley, creator of The Loveumentary and The First Seven Years
Eve Peters, founder and CEO of Whim
Lily Sun, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in San Francisco

Credits

Written & Produced by: Lily Sloane + Jessica Brown 
Theme Song: "Maruumba" by Topher M. Lewis
Credits Song: "Blimp" by Louis Cole
Opening Poem: "Admit Something" by Hafiz, recited by Eve Peters
Additional Music + Sound Design by: Lily Sloane
Featured Clip: "The Timing is Everything" Edition on Dear Prudence, with Andrea Silenzi
Episode Image:  "Have Your Awkward Tinder Dates Here" by Chris Goldberg via Flickr Creative Commons

Special thanks to the strangers at the bar for talking to us The Woods Bar and Brewery and Lost and Found Beer Garden for letting us hang out for a bit.

Seriously, F#ck Dating.

A Therapist Walk Into a Bar is a podcast that brings therapy to you. I am a San Francisco based psychotherapist who likes to get out of my office, grab my microphone, and find people in bars to chat with about the best and the worst of life. Help support the show at www.atherapistwalksintoabar.com/donate

Society & Culture

Personal Journals

History

Philosophy

Places & Travel

Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today to talk about the end. It’s the end of the third season of this podcast. A season full of stories about what it’s like to be living in these minds and bodies. But it’s also the final episode of this show. I want to quickly add, before you have a chance to react, “at least for now!” I want to imply the show could come back to make this ending feel like not a big deal. But let’s not do that. Let’s just take a moment to let it be. This is the end of the show. Afterall, resurrection fantasies are another defense against loss. 

As much as I want to just ghost on this ending, I'm not going to. So in this episode, I go back to some of the people who've been on the show before and talk about endings and why acknowledging them is important. And I take this chance to say goodbye to you and to the podcast.

Credits:

Writer/Producer - Lily Sloane
Sound Designer and Composer - Lily Sloane
Story Editor - Emily Shaw [emilyshawcreates.com]

Thank you Dani Scoville, Molly Merson, Jessica Brown, Kip Williams, Dusty Porn, and Al Anzola for taking part in this funeral...I mean, episode.

If you want to stay up to date on my new projects, follow me on Twitter @lilyrosesloane and sign up for the newsletter at atherapistwalksintoabar.com, which I’ll transition away from being about this specific podcast - and don’t worry, emails will still be fairly infrequent. To check out my other work and see if you want to hire me for something, visit lilymakessound.com. 

You can still hear me talk about therapy stuff every week on Radical Advice which is live on BFF.fm Tuesdays 10am-noon Pacific time. If you can’t listen live, subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts and tune in whenever. You can submit life questions by visiting radicaladviceshow.com.

Episode Image: Original Photo by Jaime Borschuck [jaimeborschuk.photo], adapted to black and white and ghostified by Lily Sloane

Lily Isn't Gonna Ghost (Finále)

When it comes to making babies, it can often feel like there are only 2 choices and you have to feel 100% happy with your choice once you’ve made it. Oh, and also, no matter what choice you make, people will judge you. While I grapple with my own uncertain future, Nuala has made a decision that doesn't fit neatly into any category.  The choice to have children is not quite like other choices in life because it’s pretty untakebackable. But like many other choices, saying yes to one thing and no to another can be full of complicated feelings.

- Featured Guest -

Nuala Sawyer lives in San Francisco with her partner Bryce, dog Kazu, and cat Suki. She's a reporter for SF Weekly and freelance writer. You can find her at www.nualawrites.com and on Twitter @TheBestNuala.

- Credits -

Producer: Lily Sloane
Story Editor: Emily Shaw
Original Music & Sound Design: Lily Sloane
Episode Image: Qairin Qusyairi Ooi by Mohd Fazlin Mohd Effendy Ooi (used under creative commons)

To learn more visit www.atherapistwalksintoabar.com.

An Untakebackable Choice

In this Radical Short I talk to Dave Nadelberg, co-founder of the stage show, television series, books, movie and more that make up Mortified. In the last episode of A Therapist Walks Into a Bar, "The Presence of Past," I shared some clips from my performance in the stage show in Oakland. But this thing, where people get on stage and read from their adolescent diaries, share poems, songs, plays they wrote - it actually happens in chapters all over the world. Several months ago, on my sister show Radical Advice, I chatted with Dave about how all this got started. 

Learn more about Mortified at www.getmortified.com

Learn more about Radical Advice and submit a life question at www.radicaladviceshow.com and find the archives or tune in live at www.BFF.fm

Learn more about this show at www.atherapistwalksintoabar.com

Become a patron at www.patreon.com/atherapistwalksintoabar

Radical Short: Dave Reads A Poem & Lily Sings A Song

There’s this cliche, that all therapists want to do is make you talk about the past. Even though I often reassure new clients that I won’t make them talk about anything they don’t want to, it’s not untrue - a lot of us do want to know about your past. Because the past is never actually in the past and the present and the future are intricately tied to it. But like any historical research, piecing our own pasts together is both vital to self-understanding and fraught. And our understanding of history changes with who we are in the present.

/ Credits /

Producer: Lily Sloane (www.lilymakessound.com)
Story Editor: Emily Shaw (www.emilyshawcreates.com)
Original Music & Sound Design: Lily Sloane
Additional Music: "Colocate" by Poddington Bear and the original theme to The Jedediaries by Marshall York

Find The Jedediaries at www.thejedediaries.com or wherever you listen to podcasts.

Thank you Josey Baker, Torrey Paquette, and Ada and Linden for lending your voices to this story and Mat Stevens for helping me interview Jed.  

Clips from Mortified were recorded at the New Parish in Oakland, California March 10, 2018. I highly recommend the Mortified TV series on Netflix, the podcast, and live shows. www.getmortified.com

Become a patron of the show at www.patreon.com/atherapistwalksintoabar.

The Presence of Past

Radical Shorts are a glimpse into some of the incredible conversations I’m having with all kinds of interesting people on my sister show, Radical Advice, a weekly live show on BFF.FM.

In this Radical Short, San Francisco and Berkeley based psychotherapist, Larry Lariosa, and I try to answer a listener-submitted question a lot of us are struggling with right now:

“I can't handle the news but I can't stop tuning into it. Even if I take like a week off, as soon as I go back it's like a daily terror festival. More like a runaway train and knowing there is no driver and I can't find the brakes. I don't know how to cope through another minute of this crazy bullshit. What can we be doing to make Trump go away? How does someone like him get what he needs to stop tormenting so many of us?”

Learn more about Larry at larrylariosapsychotherapy.com. 

If you'd like your life questions answered, visit radicaladviceshow.com. Tune in to Radical Advice on BFF.FM Tuesdays from 10am-noon PST or subscribe to listen in your podcast feed on your own time.

Become a patron of A Therapist Walks Into a Bar by visiting www.patreon.com/atherapistwalksintoabar

No new show until July! Until then, also check out this related episode https://www.atherapistwalksintoabar.com/why-the-resistance-needs-therapy.html

And to prepare for what's coming in July, subscribe to the Jedediaries where ever you listen or visit www.thejedediaries.com.

Thanks for listening!

Seriously, F#ck Dating.

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