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Sermon - 09-20-15 - Sophia and her friends
SEVENTEENTH SUNDAY AFTER PENTECOST 2015 JAMES 3:13-4:3, 7-8
I came across a recipe. Not for food, sadly, but for a church split. It’s like a banana split but not as nice. First, you need 1 church. For best results, ensure that the pastor shall have been at this location for no more than 5 years, having replaced the former pastor who had been there since dirt and was greatly feared and revered by all as the Final Authority.
– Begin by placing a church building project in a large container and letting it sit forapproximately 3 years while berating the membership for more funds.
– Take one power-hungry music director and stir well. (If possible select a fresh pickedmusic director with dreams of being a traveling evangelist whose wife also plays thepiano.)
– Blend in a scandal involving a member of the flower committee whose offeringsprovide no less than 25% of the church’s annual budget. Be sure to fire at least oneother member of the flower committee who was well liked by no less than three fifths ofthe congregation.
– Divide the congregation into two heaps each aligned with a faction, so that both sidesmay accuse the other of gross heresies such as sometimes skipping Wednesday nightBible Study to go bowling in an establishment of ill repute wherein is played honky-tonk music.
– Season to taste with secret meetings, whispers in dark corners, and parking lotconfrontations. If a zestier flavor is desired, add a handful of lawyers.
– Take whatever part of the congregation that shall separate from the main body andplace it in a new building no more than three miles from the old building and call itGrace Church, being sure to appreciate the irony in the name. Hang on to that recipe,you will need it later.
Through the evening November gloom he could just make out the... (Read the full Sermon here: http://s3.amazonaws.com/dfc_attachments/public/documents/3212588/20150920_Sophia_and_her_friends.pdf )
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By The Rev. Dr. Duncan H. Johnston, RectorSEVENTEENTH SUNDAY AFTER PENTECOST 2015 JAMES 3:13-4:3, 7-8
I came across a recipe. Not for food, sadly, but for a church split. It’s like a banana split but not as nice. First, you need 1 church. For best results, ensure that the pastor shall have been at this location for no more than 5 years, having replaced the former pastor who had been there since dirt and was greatly feared and revered by all as the Final Authority.
– Begin by placing a church building project in a large container and letting it sit forapproximately 3 years while berating the membership for more funds.
– Take one power-hungry music director and stir well. (If possible select a fresh pickedmusic director with dreams of being a traveling evangelist whose wife also plays thepiano.)
– Blend in a scandal involving a member of the flower committee whose offeringsprovide no less than 25% of the church’s annual budget. Be sure to fire at least oneother member of the flower committee who was well liked by no less than three fifths ofthe congregation.
– Divide the congregation into two heaps each aligned with a faction, so that both sidesmay accuse the other of gross heresies such as sometimes skipping Wednesday nightBible Study to go bowling in an establishment of ill repute wherein is played honky-tonk music.
– Season to taste with secret meetings, whispers in dark corners, and parking lotconfrontations. If a zestier flavor is desired, add a handful of lawyers.
– Take whatever part of the congregation that shall separate from the main body andplace it in a new building no more than three miles from the old building and call itGrace Church, being sure to appreciate the irony in the name. Hang on to that recipe,you will need it later.
Through the evening November gloom he could just make out the... (Read the full Sermon here: http://s3.amazonaws.com/dfc_attachments/public/documents/3212588/20150920_Sophia_and_her_friends.pdf )