A Sermon delivered by the Very Rev. Tracey Lind on the Second Sunday in Advent November 27, 2016.

The Very Rev. Tracey Lind

Dean of Trinity Cathedral, Cleveland

“In the middle of the journey of my life, I came to myself, in a dark wood, wherein the direct way was lost.  It is a hard thing to speak of, how wild, harsh and impenetrable that wood was, so that thinking of it recreates the fear.  It is scarcely less bitter than death: but, in order to tell of the good that I found there, I must tell of the other things I saw there.”  These are the opening words from Dante’s The Divine Comedy.  They best describe what is happening in my life.

About a year ago, I began to notice some changes inside of me.  At first, I thought it was just the normal aging process – periodically losing words, forgetting names, and getting tired.  I thought that perhaps I was one of the “worried well” that had lost a parent to Alzheimer’s disease.  Then, I began to realize that this was different.  Those closest to me at home and at work also began to notice changes. 

In April, Emily and I went to see a neurologist at the Cleveland Clinic.   Over the past seven months, I’ve had a battery of diagnostic tests.  In June, they ruled out early onset Alzheimer’s; but on Election Day – of all days – I was diagnosed with FTD (and I don’t mean Florist Transworld Delivery, Federal Tax Deposit or anything that has to do with a four-letter word that too many of us use too much of the time).

As I said in my letter to all of you, I have been diagnosed with Frontotemporal Degeneration.  FTD is a disease that results in progressive damage to the temporal and/or frontal lobes of the brain.  It used to be called Pick’s Disease.  FTD normally occurs in one’s 50’s and 60’s.  It is a gradual, progressive decline in language, mobility, behavior, and short-term memory.  The twists and turns of this form of dementia can be numerous and complicated, and the end-stage isn’t easy; but I’m not focusing on that right now.   The life expectancy is somewhere between two and twenty years, with an average of seven.  However, I’ve always been an outlier, so I’m hoping to be an outlier on the long side of twenty years.  You can learn more about my diagnosis at The Association for Frontotemporal Degeneration website.

Unfortunately, many people lose their jobs before their FTD is diagnosed.   I’m lucky that I came to understand what was causing me to feel lost in the dark wood before I embarrassed myself, or our beloved Trinity and the Episcopal Church.  While I hope (and think) I’m in the early stage of this disease, the executive functions required by my job have become increasingly difficult, and it is time for me to step down as your Dean.  Moreover, I want some quality time with Emily before she becomes a caregiver and I become a care recipient. 

I’ve worked full-time as a community organizer, planner or priest for nearly 44 years.  Though this is not how I had planned to retire, it is time for Emily and me to explore the world in a different way.   We hope to travel and check-off some of the aspirations on our bucket list.  I want to be a homemaker (arranging flowers, tending our garden, organizing closets, and learning to make pasta, cheese, and my mother’s fudge recipe).  And for as long as I am able, I also intend to discover new expressions of ministry that will include preaching, teaching, writing and photography.

I will finish my work here on Sunday, January 29, 2017.  I have met with the Bishop, Wardens, and Vestry to prepare for a timely and orderly transition.   Equipped with a very strong and dedicated team of leaders – lay and ordained, paid and volunteer – I am confident that this 200 year-old church is in good hands.   I am also confident that in due time,