Tales From the Toolbox. Stories from Hand in Hand Parenting

Setting Limits: Saying no with warmth and connection

Listen Later

Setting Limits Introduction

In this episode join Belynda, Kelly, Lara and Alice for a thoughtful conversation about the Hand in Hand Parenting tool of Setting Limits. We share our own stories around how we’ve used it and report on some of the challenges we’ve had in our families with this useful and nuanced tool. We even manage to find the funny side of things... not always easy when our children dig in and seem like they are never going to cooperate!

You’ll hear more about

  • Why Setting Limits is so different within the Hand in Hand paradigm
  • How the framework of connection helps us to understand what’s happening when a limit is needed
  • The inner shift that helps us bring limits in this kind, collaborative way
  • Why control and limits are different things
  • How you working WITH them against the problem is so much more effective than you making them the problem
  • How the Listen, Limit, Listen framework helps
  • The importance of considering whether our expectations are developmentally appropriate and how this can relax everyone
  • How to BRING the limit
  • How holding an expectation can be a great way to set limits
  • How bringing space into the moment around a limit can help
  • Why Listening Partnerships are so valuable in supporting us to set limits in this way
  • How rewards and consequences aren’t necessary when we set limits this way
  • Tales of how we’ve used Setting Limits in our own lives

    • If you want to learn how to set limits with love, laughter and kindness, and a rock-solid sense of confidence, this is the episode for you!

    And, if you are interested in finding a Listening Partner and would like to join the Tales from the Toolbox WhatsApp Group, please complete this form and we’ll email you the details: https://forms.gle/DjjbTBxfTat1EMLE8

    Some other resources on Setting Limits you might enjoy:

    • An article outlining this tool https://www.handinhandparenting.org/2016/08/how-to-set-limits-in-three-easy-steps/
    • An online, self paced workshop if you want to dive deeper https://www.handinhandparenting.org/product/setting-limits-building-cooperation-online-class-2/
    • Listen by Patty Wipfler and Tosha Schore (which has a whole chapter dedicated to Setting Limits AND is also available as an audiobook) - https://www.handinhandparenting.org/listen-five-simple-tools/

      • You can continue the conversation with us at [email protected] or you can follow on social media @talesfromthetoolboxpodcast

      We’d love it if you would subscribe to our podcast on your podcast platform, and if you could leave us a review that will help us reach more parents with these practical and supportive tools.

      Wishing you lots of connection and joy in your parenting, and thanks for listening.

      • You can connect with Belynda in Australia at [email protected]
      • You can connect with Alice in Shetland at [email protected]
      • You can connect with Lara in London at [email protected]
      • You can connect with Stacy in California at [email protected]
      • You can connect with Kelly in South Africa at [email protected]
        • ...more
        View all episodesView all episodes
        Download on the App Store
        Tales From the Toolbox. Stories from Hand in Hand ParentingBy Tales from the ToolBox Podcast