When we fail to set boundaries or set them and fail to maintain them, we make ourselves victims of those who need boundary setting. When we don't set and maintain boundaries, and then complain about the subsequent abuse, we are reinforcing our victimhood and not taking responsibility for what happens to us. When we don't set and maintain boundaries, we need to understand why and to address those issues. When others have set boundaries with us and we do not respect them, regardless of how justified we may believe ourselves to be, we are, nonetheless, victimizers, bullies and abusers. When we don't respect boundaries, we need to understand why and to address those issues.