Settled

Character development is not only about behaving well or producing visible results. It is a set of skills and abilities that help us meet the demands of real life, including the realities of relationships, work, home, and our inner world.

We picture this work as a tree. Its fruit appears in our people, performance, and personal lives, while its trunk reflects attachment, separation, integration, and adulthood. Grace and truth form the roots. This image helps us see why lasting growth cannot come from polishing appearances alone. Healthy fruit grows from a healthy trunk and root system, as fruitfulness becomes a natural expression of who we are.

As we begin this series, we reflect on how difficult realities can produce perseverance, character, and hope. We consider the importance of community, healthy interdependence, meaningful work, and care for our mental, emotional, and spiritual lives. We close with a guided reflection, then share a little about calendaring and our kitten, French Fry.

Resources:

Settled Conference - Aug. 27-28, 2026

For Updates on Jason's Journey: settledco.com/jason

Reclaim What's Real 5-Day Jouney

Settled Design Course

Free 30 Minute Biblical Counseling Session

Linktree - https://linktr.ee/settledco

Connect with us:

Website - https://settledco.com

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/settled.co/

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61552836102590

YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@settledpodcast

LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/company/settledco/

Takeaways:

• - Character is a set of skills and abilities needed to meet the demands of reality.
• - The three areas of fruit are people, performance, and personal.
• - Healthy fruit depends on a healthy trunk and root system, not surface-level polishing.
• - Leadership should attend to the whole human being, not only the employee.
• - Romans 5:3-5 connects tribulation with perseverance, character, and hope.

We are learning to hold together the reality of illness and the deeper spiritual identity that remains true through it. In the middle of cancer treatment, changes to the body can affect how we see ourselves and how others see us. The reminder "I'm still in here" has helped us remember that a diagnosis, weight loss, fatigue, or another outward change does not tell the whole story of a person.

As we reflect on 2 Corinthians 4:16-18, we talk about the image of a seed planted in the ground, unseen roots, and life that can emerge through fracture and loss. We also share why surrendering a preferred outcome is different from giving up hope. We can release our expectations about how healing must happen while remaining expectant of God's goodness. This conversation does not dismiss treatment or the reality of suffering. It makes room for appointments, care, grief, and spiritual hope together.

Resources:

Settled Conference - Aug. 27-28, 2026

For Updates on Jason's Journey: settledco.com/jason

Reclaim What's Real 5-Day Jouney

Settled Design Course

Free 30 Minute Biblical Counseling Session

Linktree - https://linktr.ee/settledco

Connect with us:

Website - https://settledco.com

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/settled.co/

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61552836102590

YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@settledpodcast

LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/company/settledco/

Takeaways:

• - Physical changes can affect how we see ourselves, but they do not express the whole person.
• - 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 offers perspective amid outward hardship.
• - The seed image gives language for unseen growth through fracture, waiting, and loss.
• - Surrendering a preferred outcome can coexist with hope and expectancy.
• - Spiritual hope can be held alongside medical care and the realities of treatment.

Mentioned in this episode:

Reclaim What's Real 5-Day Journey

This FREE 5-day journey helps you silence the noise, reconnect with your soul, and rediscover the presence of God already dwelling within you. Reclaim your inner world, confront false voices, and discover the Kingdom of God within.

Reclaim What's Real 5-Day Jouney

Supporting Us Through This Journey

As many of you know, Jason was recently diagnosed with stage four stomach cancer. If you'd like to support him and this podcast financially, you can donate using this link. All gifts are tax-deductible. Learn more at settledco.com/jason.

Donate

When a diagnosis, disappointment, or season of sorrow leaves us without the strength to hold on, we can rest in the truth that God loved us first and is already holding us. In this conversation, we reflect on how that reality has steadied us through Jason's stage four stomach cancer diagnosis. We talk about the difference between trying to hold tightly enough to God and receiving the comfort of being held by him.

We explore mercy as a friend who sits with us when we do not have what it takes, and we consider how God's nearness does not depend on our performance, feelings, or religious effort. Elizabeth and Jason also reflect on declaring what is true about our identity when disappointment and sorrow feel louder, and on finding Christ even in the darkest cavern of fear and loss. The conversation closes with a guided prayer for recognizing God's presence in discouragement, confusion, and sadness, followed by a Settled Segment about family, books, and the simple things that bring rest.

Resources:

Settled Conference - Aug. 27-28, 2026

For Updates on Jason's Journey: settledco.com/jason

Reclaim What's Real 5-Day Jouney

Settled Design Course

Free 30 Minute Biblical Counseling Session

Linktree - https://linktr.ee/settledco

Connect with us:

Website - https://settledco.com

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/settled.co/

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61552836102590

YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@settledpodcast

LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/company/settledco/

Takeaways:

• God's initiative and love hold us even when we lack the strength or focus to hold on to him.
• A hard diagnosis does not make God's presence conditional on our emotional response or spiritual performance.
• Mercy can be received as a companion that meets us in sorrow, disappointment, and failure.
• Naming the truth of our identity in Christ helps us turn from fixation on untruth toward what is already true.
• Rest is an embodied posture of trusting God's nearness in the middle of mystery and confusion.

Mentioned in this episode:

Reclaim What's Real 5-Day Journey

This FREE 5-day journey helps you silence the noise, reconnect with your soul, and rediscover the presence of God already dwelling within you. Reclaim your inner world, confront false voices, and discover the Kingdom of God within.

Reclaim What's Real 5-Day Jouney

Supporting Us Through This Journey

As many of you know, Jason was recently diagnosed with stage four stomach cancer. If you'd like to support him and this podcast financially, you can donate using this link. All gifts are tax-deductible. Learn more at settledco.com/jason.

Donate

When a hard season makes the future feel uncertain, we can wonder whether the good things God has spoken over our lives are still true. In this conversation, we reflect on 2 Corinthians 1:20 and the reassurance that every promise of God finds its yes and amen in Christ. Jason shares how that truth galvanized him to return to the work God gave us, with practical limits that honor his treatment, appointments, and endurance.

We also talk honestly about outcomes we cannot control. Some dreams may not materialize in the way or timing we expect, but we find comfort in the conviction that what is true in Christ is not limited to what we can see right now. We are learning to do what we can, when we can, with what we have, for as long as we can, without letting fear decide whether it is enough. If you are carrying something that feels lost or unresolved, we hope this offers a place to breathe, pray, and remember that God's yes and amen endures. Join us in the upcoming Settled Cohort as we practice living from what is true.

Resources:

Settled Conference - Aug. 27-28, 2026

For Updates on Jason's Journey: settledco.com/jason

Reclaim What's Real 5-Day Jouney

Settled Design Course

Free 30 Minute Biblical Counseling Session

Linktree - https://linktr.ee/settledco

Connect with us:

Website - https://settledco.com

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/settled.co/

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61552836102590

YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@settledpodcast

LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/company/settledco/

Takeaways:

• - God's yes and amen is in Christ, rather than in a diagnosis, a body, or our personal capacity.
• - A clear sense of purpose can coexist with recovery, medical care, and needed limits.
• - Rest can include leaning into the work that is meaningful and possible today.
• - We can hold hopes and promises without demanding certainty about their timing or outcome.
• - The image of a seed offers comfort when something feels unrealized, lost, or beyond our sight.

Mentioned in this episode:

Reclaim What's Real 5-Day Journey

This FREE 5-day journey helps you silence the noise, reconnect with your soul, and rediscover the presence of God already dwelling within you. Reclaim your inner world, confront false voices, and discover the Kingdom of God within.

Reclaim What's Real 5-Day Jouney

When life brings us face to face with what we cannot control, we can spend so much energy rehearsing worst case scenarios or trying to force every problem out of the garden. In this honest conversation, we share what has steadied us through Jason's stomach cancer diagnosis: the reminder that we have what we need when we need it, and the freedom to be present rather than live inside foreboding dread.

We also sit with Jesus' parable of the wheat and tares. What if some weeds are not ours to uproot? We talk about partnering in the care and treatment that is ours to do, asking God what should be removed and what may need to remain for a purpose, and turning our attention toward the life that is still growing. If you are carrying a hard thing, we hope this gives you a picture of a faithful Lord of the harvest. Join us in the Settled Community for monthly live classes, replays, book clubs, and a growing library of resources for living from your settled self.

Takeaways:

• - We do not need to live inside imagined worst case scenarios.
• - When difficulty arrives, we can meet it with the help available in that moment.
• - The parable of wheat and tares gives language for trusting God with what we cannot uproot ourselves.
• - We can participate in wise care and still relinquish the outcome to God.
• - There can be more life to notice and nurture, even in the presence of disease and loss.

We can carry a surprising number of assumptions into marriage: who should work, who should clean, who should make the decisions, and what it means to be a husband or wife. But a role is not an identity. Roles are activities that can flex and change with the season, while our identity is something deeper that deserves clarity and care.

We are talking about the family models we inherit, the expectations we can unknowingly put on each other, and why boundaries are not meant to restrict us. They help us recognize where we end and another person begins, so we can live from self-control rather than control of one another. We also explore headship as service, the freedom of unity with distinction, and what it looks like to let our children discover who they are rather than forcing them into a part. Join us at our website to learn about upcoming Settled conferences in the Grapevine area.

Resources:

Settled Conference - Aug. 27-28, 2026

For Updates on Jason's Journey: settledco.com/jason

Reclaim What's Real 5-Day Jouney

Settled Design Course

Free 30 Minute Biblical Counseling Session

Linktree - https://linktr.ee/settledco

Connect with us:

Website - https://settledco.com

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/settled.co/

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61552836102590

YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@settledpodcast

LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/company/settledco/

Takeaways:

• A role is an activity, not an identity. The work each person does in a home can change without diminishing who they are.
• The assumptions we bring from our family of origin can quietly shape our marriage until we examine them together.
• Healthy boundaries clarify where one person ends and another begins, making room for self-control instead of control of someone else.
• Headship is best understood through Christ's example of serving, creating safety, and making space for others to flourish.
• Children benefit when we show them that a marriage can have unity with distinction instead of one rigid pattern they must repeat.

Mentioned in this episode:

Reclaim What's Real 5-Day Journey

This FREE 5-day journey helps you silence the noise, reconnect with your soul, and rediscover the presence of God already dwelling within you. Reclaim your inner world, confront false voices, and discover the Kingdom of God within.

Reclaim What's Real 5-Day Jouney

We didn't grow up assuming our home would feel safe - and if that's true for you too, you're not alone. This week we're talking about what it actually takes to build a safe place, in a marriage and in a home, and why safety rarely happens by accident. We talk through the tension between order and creativity, a study on a fenced playground that changed how we think about boundaries, and the difference between what we truly need from each other and what we simply prefer. We get honest about a season where confession, not perfection, is what made our marriage feel safe again, because there's no separation from grace when we bring the real thing into the light.

Resources:

Settled Conference - Aug. 27-28, 2026

For Updates on Jason's Journey: settledco.com/jason

Reclaim What's Real 5-Day Jouney

Settled Design Course

Free 30 Minute Biblical Counseling Session

Linktree - https://linktr.ee/settledco

Connect with us:

Website - https://settledco.com

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/settled.co/

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61552836102590

YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@settledpodcast

LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/company/settledco/

Takeaways:

• Safety in a marriage doesn't happen by accident - it's something you build on purpose, the same way order and creativity work together to make a home feel both stable and alive.
• You can't force someone to feel safe with an ultimatum; safety grows when you simply ask each other what do you need from me to feel safe and actually listen to the answer.
• Attunement, I see you, I hear you, I'm with you, creates connection faster than trying to fully understand every detail of what your spouse is going through.
• Knowing the difference between a need (something that would unravel the relationship if unmet) and a preference (something you'd simply enjoy) keeps you from fighting over the wrong things.
• Confession doesn't have to end in separation - the safest marriages are the ones where bringing a struggle into the light is met with grace instead of shame.

Mentioned in this episode:

Supporting Us Through This Journey

As many of you know, Jason was recently diagnosed with stage four stomach cancer. If you'd like to support him and this podcast financially, you can donate using this link. All gifts are tax-deductible. Learn more at settledco.com/jason.

Donate

Reclaim What's Real 5-Day Journey

This FREE 5-day journey helps you silence the noise, reconnect with your soul, and rediscover the presence of God already dwelling within you. Reclaim your inner world, confront false voices, and discover the Kingdom of God within.

Reclaim What's Real 5-Day Jouney

Today, we dive deep into the intricate dance of struggle and support within marriage, uncovering how these dynamics have shaped our 26-year journey together. We share candidly about our own struggles, particularly in the early years of our marriage, where insecurities and the pressure of expectations led to friction rather than unity. Through personal stories and revelations, we explore how God intervened, helping us transform from being obstacles in each other's paths to becoming sources of support and encouragement. Our conversation highlights not just the challenges we faced but also the pivotal moments that led to significant shifts in our relationship, including a powerful dream that pointed out the difference between being a boulder and a jetpack in each other’s lives. Join us as we reflect on the importance of prayer, self-awareness, and the commitment to nurturing a partnership that lifts each other to new heights.

Resources:

Settled Conference - Aug. 27-28, 2026

For Updates on Jason's Journey: settledco.com/jason

Reclaim What's Real 5-Day Jouney

Settled Design Course

Free 30 Minute Biblical Counseling Session

Linktree - https://linktr.ee/settledco

Connect with us:

Website - https://settledco.com

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/settled.co/

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61552836102590

YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@settledpodcast

LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/company/settledco/

Takeaways:

• Marriage is a journey of struggle and support, requiring both partners to grow together.
• Experiencing insecurities can reveal hidden issues that emerge in the context of marriage.
• We often mirror each other's strengths and weaknesses, highlighting areas for personal growth.
• Prayer and communication are vital in navigating the complexities of a marital relationship.

Mentioned in this episode:

Settled Conference - Aug. 27-28 | Grapevine, TX

Feeling weary from carrying the weight of caring for others? The Settled Conference is two intentional days to slow down, hear God's voice, experience healing, and return to the settled identity that's always been yours. Reserve your seat now using the link below.

Supporting Us Through This Journey

As many of you know, Jason was recently diagnosed with stage four stomach cancer. If you'd like to support him and this podcast financially, you can donate using this link. All gifts are tax-deductible. Learn more at settledco.com/jason.

Donate

We're diving deep into the essential topic of fighting for connection in marriage. This week, we’re unpacking how prioritizing connection can transform our relationships, especially when it comes to our kids. We both recognize that fighting for connection might sound a bit aggressive, but honestly, it’s about leaning into conversations that matter, even when it’s tough. We’ll share some personal stories, including how our daughter has helped us improve our communication game—because let’s face it, sometimes we need a little nudge to connect better. Ultimately, we’re all about moving away from the land of right and wrong, and instead, focusing on union and relationships that foster true understanding and love. Join us as we explore practical tools and insights that can help us all connect more effectively!

Resources:

Settled Conference - Aug. 27-28, 2026

For Updates on Jason's Journey: settledco.com/jason

Reclaim What's Real 5-Day Jouney

Settled Design Course

Free 30 Minute Biblical Counseling Session

Linktree - https://linktr.ee/settledco

Connect with us:

Website - https://settledco.com

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/settled.co/

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61552836102590

YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@settledpodcast

LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/company/settledco/

Takeaways:

• Effective communication in marriage requires prioritizing connection over being right or validated.
• It's essential to gauge where your partner is emotionally before initiating important conversations.
• Building small, practical shifts in daily interactions can significantly enhance relational connection.
• Establishing designated times for family discussions helps ensure everyone is engaged and present in the conversation.

Mentioned in this episode:

Settled Conference - Aug. 27-28 | Grapevine, TX

Feeling weary from carrying the weight of caring for others? The Settled Conference is two intentional days to slow down, hear God's voice, experience healing, and return to the settled identity that's always been yours. Reserve your seat now using the link below.

Reclaim What's Real 5-Day Journey

This FREE 5-day journey helps you silence the noise, reconnect with your soul, and rediscover the presence of God already dwelling within you. Reclaim your inner world, confront false voices, and discover the Kingdom of God within.

Reclaim What's Real 5-Day Jouney

Today, we dive into the core of what can make or break a marriage: communication. We unpack the significance of understanding both the overt and covert messages exchanged in every relationship, shedding light on how vital clarity is in our conversations. Throughout our discussion, we emphasize that communication isn't just about the words we say; it's about the feelings that linger beneath them. We share our own experiences and insights on how to navigate these complex layers, including the importance of asking curious questions to clarify intentions. Join us as we explore this crucial aspect of marriage and how fighting for clarity can lead to deeper connections and understanding between partners.

Resources:

Settled Conference - Aug. 27-28, 2026

For Updates on Jason's Journey: settledco.com/jason

Reclaim What's Real 5-Day Jouney

Settled Design Course

Free 30 Minute Biblical Counseling Session

Linktree - https://linktr.ee/settledco

Connect with us:

Website - https://settledco.com

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/settled.co/

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61552836102590

YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@settledpodcast

LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/company/settledco/

Takeaways:

• Communication is the cornerstone of a successful marriage, requiring conscious effort and understanding.
• We often communicate not just through words but also with our tone and body language, revealing deeper meanings.
• Fighting for clarity in conversations is essential; it helps partners align on feelings and intentions.
• Taking time to pause and reflect on emotions after conversations can prevent misunderstandings and promote healthier dialogue.
• Using 'I feel' statements can help clarify emotions and foster more productive discussions between partners.
• Marriage is a continuous journey of growth, where both partners must be willing to engage in honest communication.

Mentioned in this episode:

Settled Conference - Aug. 27-28 | Grapevine, TX

Feeling weary from carrying the weight of caring for others? The Settled Conference is two intentional days to slow down, hear God's voice, experience healing, and return to the settled identity that's always been yours. Reserve your seat now using the link below.