If you're lucky, you've had a special Black person in your life. If you're really lucky, you've known a lot of Black people.  Fifteen percent of our nation's population is Black, which means that one out of seven people in your life will be Black on average.  Due to neighborhood and school segregation, many of us have been separated from the Black population, so our numbers will be more like one in ten, or one in twenty, or one in one hundred--or worse.

Our parents bought homes in neighborhoods where they were hoping that their property values would grow and let them enjoy a financially successful retirement some day.  There was a commonly held belief that continues today that property values decrease when Black families move into a neighborhood.  Also, some still believe that homes in neighborhoods where many Black families live will not appreciate in value.  Maybe as you were searching for your first home, you used similar beliefs to make your buying decision.

Since it was less likely that we would meet Black people in our neighborhoods and schools, the ones we did meet and befriend are likely memorable.  We met Black people when their professions integrated them into our white communities.  You may have met a postal worker, or a teacher, or a garbage man.  Store clerks and bus drivers may have worked in our neighborhoods.  And certainly some of us had domestic workers like maids and nannies that came across town to work in our homes.

Today's practice:  Who were the special Black people you have known in your life?  By special, I mean the ones that knew your name, celebrated your gifts, and were there for you when you least expected it.  What did they teach you about yourself?  How did they help you through a tough time? 

Are you still friends?  Do you follow them on Facebook?  Do you know their children's names?  Do you still go to their birthday parties? Just think about them and how they helped form your attitudes and opinions about Black people.  Think about how some of them turned out to be very close to your heart and some of them moved on to take their place with other vague memories of childhood.  Think about how their lives might have been different than yours.  Were their families different, their academic paths different, or their career or financial successes different?  Just reflect. 

There is no right or wrong conclusion to draw from this practice.  Only to take inventory of your early impressions and where your attitudes were born.  Some will be loving, some will be judgmental, and some will be confusing.  Some came directly from your parents, but they are all yours now.  Don't worry about understanding them; just acknowledge them.