Sex Ed at Home

Abortion is all over the news and top of mind for many of us right now. So, how do we talk to our kids about abortion? What do kids need to know about abortion at each age and stage? And how can the politicization and cultural stigma around abortion can impact the messages we send without us even realizing it?

11:45 Values Clarification questions

14:45 How to talk with 4-6 year-olds about abortion

21:06 How to talk with 7-9 year-olds about abortion

27:49 How to talk with kids 10+ about abortion

https://www.amandastarkingsley.com/speaking-light-into-abortion/106 (Guest podcast interview) on Speaking Light into Abortion with Amanda Star Kingsley

https://www.cnn.com/cnn10 (CNN10)

https://www.vox.com/2019/4/10/18295513/abortion-2020-roe-joe-biden-democrats-republicans (Politicization of Abortion)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=84jd6pUiJ6A (Maybe a Baby) book for young kids (ages 4-6) about abortion.

https://www.corysilverberg.com/sex-is-a-funny-word (Sex is a Funny Word) by Cory Silverberg (ages 8-10).

https://www.whatsanabortionbook.com/ (What’s an Abortion, Anyway? Book)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lila_Rose (Lila Rose) (anti-abortion activist)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alex_P._Keaton (Alex P. Keaton)

https://bookshop.org/books/my-mom-had-an-abortion/9781629639130 (My Mom had an Abortion )book

https://prochoice.org/wp-content/uploads/abortion_option.pdf? (Values Clarification exercises)

Values Clarification Questions (from the https://www.ipas.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/VALCLARE14-VCATAbortionAttitudeTransformation.pdf (Ipas Values Clarification Toolkit))

How comfortable are you with safe and legal induced abortion services being provided in your country?

How comfortable are you discussing abortion with family members?

How comfortable are you discussing abortion with work colleagues?

How knowledgeable are you about your country’s laws and policies on abortion services?

How comfortable are you advocating for women’s access to frst-trimester abortion?

How comfortable are you advocating for women’s access to second-trimester abortion?

How comfortable are you publicly supporting women who have abortions and the health- care providers who provide them?

How much disapproval would you expect to feel from your family and friends if you advocated for safe abortion services?

How comfortable are you with the idea of every woman having the right to access safe abortion services in your country?

How comfortable are you advocating for abortion care for every woman who desires it, regardless of her reasons?

Want to learn more or get in touch?

Join our https://www.everybodytalks.co/subscribe (newsletter.)

Follow every.body talks on https://www.instagram.com/every.bodytalks/ (Instagram).

Check out every.body talks' https://www.everybodytalks.co (website).

Email us: [email protected]

Did you know that people of all genders get erections?

Join me as I answer a real question from a 4th grader about what erections feel like.

Want to learn more or get in touch?

Join our https://www.everybodytalks.co/subscribe (newsletter.)

Follow every.body talks on https://www.instagram.com/every.bodytalks/ (Instagram).

Check out every.body talks' https://www.everybodytalks.co (website).

Email us: [email protected]

When should you have the talk about where babies come from? How about puberty? STIs and pregnancy prevention?

Join me as I talk about why these might be the wrong questions, the differences between sex and sexuality, why talking about sexuality can feel so tricky, and how raising sexually smarter kids just might be easier – and far more challenging – than you thought.

Time Stamps:

01:55 Age guidelines for talking about reproduction, puberty, and sexual health

04:31 What sexuality is

05:30 Why talking about it can be hard

12:37 Talking vs. modeling

17:02 Evolving, developmentally appropriate conversations

Want to learn more or get in touch?

Join our https://www.everybodytalks.co/subscribe (newsletter.)

Follow every.body talks on https://www.instagram.com/every.bodytalks/ (Instagram).

Check out every.body talks' https://www.everybodytalks.co (website).

Email us: [email protected]

Join me as I discuss Cara Delevigne’s “peg the patriarchy” top at the Met Gala. What the heck is pegging? And is that the metaphor we really want to be using in movements to dismantle patriarchy?

Join me as I talk through how to model consent skills when guiding kids' play and making family decisions, using real examples from my parenting life.

To learn more about consensus-based decision making, head over https://www.seedsforchange.org.uk/consensus (here).

Want to learn more or get in touch?

Join our https://www.everybodytalks.co/subscribe (newsletter.)

Follow every.body talks on https://www.instagram.com/every.bodytalks/ (Instagram).

Check out every.body talks' https://www.everybodytalks.co (website).

Email us: [email protected]

On this first ever quickie I address a common question: how to set boundaries with kids around sexuality and still be sex-positive.

Have a question you'd like answered on the show? Email it to [email protected]

Want to learn more or get in touch?

Join our https://www.everybodytalks.co/subscribe (newsletter.)

Follow every.body talks on https://www.instagram.com/every.bodytalks/ (Instagram).

Check out every.body talks' https://www.everybodytalks.co (website).

Email us: [email protected]

Join me as I talk through what elementary schoolers need to know at each age, plus tips and strategies to help you create a culture of consent in your home.

Time stamps for key messages are below to help you skip to relevant sections if desired.

Correction: Gov. Andrew Cuomo’s response to the sexual assault and harassment allegations was a https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-3XaJQrCia4 (video montage), not a written statement including photos. Apologies for the mistake.

Note: links are not affiliate links; I only recommend books I wholeheartedly endorse

Book: https://www.drlauramcguire.com/creating-cultures-of-consent-book (Creating Cultures of Consent by Dr. Laura McGuire)

Dr. Laura McGuire’s quote about consent (at 5:09) is: “Above all, consent is respect for the dignity, personhood and well-being of every living thing. It means not simply asking for or receiving permission but holistically seeing each person that you interact with and wanting them to enthusiastically and wholeheartedly choose whether to interact with you or not.” from: https://msmagazine.com/2021/05/03/sex-education-consent-rape-culture/ (https://msmagazine.com/2021/05/03/sex-education-consent-rape-culture/)

Key Messages for K-2 (ages 4-7)

(10:00) They are the boss of their own body and they have the right to say who touches them, when, and how.

Child nutrition and intuitive eating resources:

https://kidseatincolor.com/ (https://kidseatincolor.com)

http://beekaynutrition.com/ (http://beekaynutrition.com)

https://christyharrison.com/ (https://christyharrison.com)

https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250786609 (https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250786609)

https://virginiasolesmith.substack.com/ (https://virginiasolesmith.substack.com)

Book: https://bookshop.org/books/we-listen-to-our-bodies/9781631985003 (We Listen to Our Bodies) by https://www.lydiambowers.com/ (Lydia Bowers)

(22:10) They should ask before touching others' bodies.

Book: https://bookshop.org/books/don-t-hug-doug-he-doesn-t-like-it/9781984813022 (Don’t Hug Doug (He Doesn’t Like It)) by https://www.carriefinison.com/ (Carrie Finison)

(24:42) How to respectfully communicate their own boundaries and respect the boundaries of others.

Articles by Dr. Laura McGuire about consent:

https://www.kinkly.com/a-short-history-of-sexual-consent/2/17399 (A Short History of Sexual Consent)

https://msmagazine.com/2021/05/03/sex-education-consent-rape-culture/ (https://msmagazine.com/2021/05/03/sex-education-consent-rape-culture/)

https://www.edutopia.org/article/role-education-preventing-sexual-misconduct (https://www.edutopia.org/article/role-education-preventing-sexual-misconduct)

Key Messages for Grades 3-5 (ages 8-10)

Everything above, plus:

(32:46) The relationship between consent, boundaries, and bodily autonomy.

Book: https://bookshop.org/books/let-s-talk-about-body-boundaries-consent-and-respect-teach-children-about-body-ownership-respect-feelings-choices-and-recognizing-bullying-behavi-9781925089189/9781925089189 (Let’s Talk About Body Boundaries, Consent, and Respect) by https://e2epublishing.info/jay (Jayneen Sanders)

(39:45) Their rights and responsibilities related to consent, what can make it difficult to adhere to those, and what to do about it.

Book: https://bookshop.org/books/consent-for-kids-boundaries-respect-and-being-in-charge-of-you-9780316457736/9780316457736 (Consent for Kids) by https://www.rachelannbrian.com/ (Rachel Brian)

(44:34) Ways that peers can pressure others and effective responses.

Want to learn more or get in touch?

Join our https://www.everybodytalks.co/subscribe (newsletter.)

Follow every.body talks on https://www.instagram.com/every.bodytalks/ (Instagram).

Check out every.body talks' https://www.everybodytalks.co (website).

Email us: [email protected]

Join me as I explore what kids are and aren't learning about consent in US schools, why waiting until college just doesn't cut it, some problems with affirmative consent as the gold standard for sexual consent, and more.

Want to learn more or get in touch?

Join our https://www.everybodytalks.co/subscribe (newsletter.)

Follow every.body talks on https://www.instagram.com/every.bodytalks/ (Instagram).

Check out every.body talks' https://www.everybodytalks.co (website).

Email us: [email protected]

References:

https://www.edweek.org/teaching-learning/were-teaching-consent-all-wrong/2019/01 (https://www.edweek.org/teaching-learning/were-teaching-consent-all-wrong/2019/01)

Harvard School of Ed Report: https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5b7c56e255b02c683659fe43/t/5bd51a0324a69425bd079b59/1540692500558/mcc_the_talk_final.pdf (https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5b7c56e255b02c683659fe43/t/5bd51a0324a69425bd079b59/1540692500558/mcc_the_talk_final.pdf)

Hypermasculinity, token resistance, and rape myth acceptance https://www.jahonline.org/article/S1054-139X(17)30857-1/fulltext (https://www.jahonline.org/article/S1054-139X(17)30857-1/fulltext)

Sexual Coercion and Implications for Affirmative Consent on College Campuses https://www.mdpi.com/2076-328X/8/8/69/htm (https://www.mdpi.com/2076-328X/8/8/69/htm)

Effects of gender, relationship status, and sexual behavior type on consent https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/19317611.2019.1565793?journalCode=wijs20 (https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/19317611.2019.1565793?journalCode=wijs20)

Social contexts and expanding beyond individual responsibility (consent and tea article) https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/chso.12358 (https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/chso.12358)

Tea and Consent video: http://www.consentiseverything.com/ (http://www.consentiseverything.com)

Sex Ed is related to greater positive feelings about consent https://www.semanticscholar.org/paper/Perceived-Sex-Education-and-Its-Association-with-Richmond-Peterson/4cb0b8ef865db217468e7ac890a87345177973de (https://www.semanticscholar.org/paper/Perceived-Sex-Education-and-Its-Association-with-Richmond-Peterson/4cb0b8ef865db217468e7ac890a87345177973de)

Analysis of current K-12 health ed curriculum standards https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/14681811.2018.1510769?src=recsys (https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/14681811.2018.1510769?src=recsys)

Beliefs about Sexual consent among HS students https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/0886260519842855 (https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/0886260519842855)

Being able to identify and express feelings is a crucial skill for practicing consent, but many of us squish down, shy away from, or avoid big feelings.

And we can't tell someone else what we want or don't want, what feels good to us and what makes us feel uncomfortable, if we're not in tune with and able to express our feelings.

In this episode, we talk more about why it's so important to express our feelings, how ignoring our kids' feelings can contribute to a culture that doesn't value consent and bodily autonomy, and some first steps for identifying and expressing feelings in your family.

Want to learn more or get in touch?

Join our https://www.everybodytalks.co/subscribe (newsletter.)

Follow every.body talks on https://www.instagram.com/every.bodytalks/ (Instagram).

Check out every.body talks' https://www.everybodytalks.co (website).

Email us: [email protected]

We support parents and caring adults in talking to kids about sex, private parts, where babies come from, puberty, porn, sexual abuse, consent, communication, relationships, and much more.

Want to learn more or get in touch?

Join our https://www.everybodytalks.co/subscribe (newsletter.)

Follow every.body talks on https://www.instagram.com/every.bodytalks/ (Instagram).

Check out every.body talks' https://www.everybodytalks.co (website).

Email us: [email protected]