Welcome back to Sex Tells, in this episode Lucy Frank is joined by psychosexual and relationship therapist Kate Moyle to explore how anxiety impacts intimacy, both sexual and relational. Together, they unpack how anxiety can subtly, yet profoundly, affect desire, arousal, emotional connection, and the overall quality of relationships. Drawing on real-life examples and therapeutic insights, Lucy and Kate show how anxiety often underlies many challenges people experience in their sexual lives.

How does anxiety shape desire, arousal, and intimacy? Lucy and Kate explore how anxious thoughts and feelings can disrupt natural sexual connection, creating cycles of worry, self-doubt, and avoidance. They discuss how these patterns may contribute to common sexual difficulties (such as low libido, erectile issues, or challenges with orgasm) highlighting that many sexual struggles are rooted in psychological, rather than purely physical, causes.

What practical strategies can help individuals and couples navigate anxiety in their sexual relationships? The conversation moves into evidence-based therapeutic approaches, including sensate focus exercises, exposure techniques, and mindful touch. The two explain how these strategies can help partners rebuild comfort, trust, and presence, fostering open communication and a focus on pleasure rather than performance. They emphasise the importance of creating safe spaces where fears and vulnerabilities can be shared without judgment.

How do societal pressures and sexual myths fuel anxiety, and how can we challenge them? Lucy and Kate discuss the impact of unrealistic expectations and harmful sexual scripts, stressing the value of normalising sexual struggles and breaking down shame. They encourage listeners to seek support, whether through therapy, books, or community, and to cultivate curiosity and compassion for themselves and their partners. By addressing both internal and external pressures, individuals and couples can reduce anxiety and build deeper, more fulfilling intimacy.

So, as you reflect this conversation, ask yourself: How might anxiety be shaping your sexual and relational experiences, and what small steps could you take to create more safety, connection, and pleasure in your relationships?

Connect & Learn More

Learn More

Explore Lucy’s therapy services, retreats, workshops, and resources: https://theyxologist.co.uk

Stay Social
Follow for updates, insights, and behind-the-scenes perspectives:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theyxologist/ @theyxologist 

Get in Touch
For session bookings, media enquiries, and collaborations:
Email: [email protected]
Contact Form: https://theyxologist.co.uk/contact/

Work With Lucy
Lucy provides tailored psychosexual and relationship therapy, both online and in person, in Central, East, South West London, and Brighton. She also leads retreats and workshops on intimacy, desire, and navigating life changes like childlessness, infidelity, illness, and shifting relationship dynamics.

Find out more and book via the contact page:
 https://theyxologist.co.uk/contact/

In this candid conversation, Daviana, a trans woman, powerlifter, and BDSM coach, shares her truth about gender, identity, and authentic self-expression. Discover how embracing vulnerability and living at your own pace can lead to genuine happiness and deeper self-understanding.

She speaks about redefining masculinity and femininity beyond stereotypes and how this can transform your relationships and self-perception. Daviana shares her raw journey—from childhood curiosity and intense military discipline to bold transitions and flourishing authenticity—showing that true strength lies in honesty and self-acceptance.

You'll discover:
•⁠  ⁠The profound impact of therapy on aligning inner truths with external presentation
•⁠  ⁠How societal myths about gender and power play hinder true understanding
•⁠  ⁠Practical insights into safe, consensual BDSM, impact play, and the importance of aftercare
•⁠  ⁠The role of community, friendship, and boundaries in a life lived fully and authentically
•⁠  ⁠Why Daviana believes embracing your biology and history is central to genuine self-love

This episode is perfect for anyone who look at gender through another lens.

Most people dismiss pelvic floor health as a mere pelvic or muscular issue, but the truth is far more complex. 

In this eye-opening episode, pelvic physiotherapist Clare Bourne breaks down how pain, pleasure, and the mind-body connection intertwine to shape your sexual wellbeing for men, women and non-binary individuals. If you've ever experienced ongoing discomfort during intimacy, or wondered how your psychological state influences physical sensations, this episode will change how you view your body.

Clare reveals the surprising role that muscle tension, emotional stress, trauma, and social factors play in pelvic pain—topics often overlooked by mainstream healthcare. You'll discover: how common conditions like vaginismus, vulvodynia, and postnatal trauma are tightly linked to both physical and psychological factors; why understanding your anatomy is the foundation of pleasure and pain management; and the powerful biopsychosocial model that guides holistic treatment. She shares concrete insights on assessments, treatment timelines, and the critical importance of collaboration between physiotherapists and psychosexual therapists.

In this candid conversation, Clare emphasises the barriers that prevent many from seeking help—shame, lack of awareness, access issues—and how systemic gaps demand more inclusive, informed care. Her approach not only treats symptoms but empowers you with knowledge to reclaim your sexual health. Whether you're battling pain, desire discrepancies, or simply eager to understand your body better, this episode offers practical guidance and a new perspective on sexual wellness.

Perfect for anyone tired of feeling isolated with pelvic discomfort or curiosity about how body, mind, and social influences shape pleasure. Tune in to learn why pain isn't just physical—it's a complex narrative your body is trying to tell. Take the first step toward a more connected, pleasurable life today.

Guest Clare Bourne is a pelvic floor physiotherapist and author of Strong Foundations, with extensive experience supporting men, women, and the transgender community in understanding and healing pelvic health issues through a holistic lens.

Welcome back to Sex Tells, in this episode host Lucy Frank is joined by renowned psychoanalyst Juliet Rosenfeld (author of the book “Affairs”) and experienced therapist Psychosexual and Relationship Kate Moyle to explore why affairs happen, looking beyond simplistic narratives of betrayal to examine the emotional, psychological, and societal factors that can drive people outside their primary relationships.

Why do affairs occur, even in relationships that appear loving or stable? Lucy, Juliet, and Kate explore how unmet emotional needs, desire for novelty, changes in identity, and struggles with self-esteem can all play a role. They also examine how cultural expectations around monogamy, romance, and success in relationships can create pressure, silence, and shame, making it harder for individuals to openly address dissatisfaction before it manifests as infidelity.

What impact do affairs have on trust, intimacy, and communication within a relationship? The episode delves into the rupture that betrayal can cause, often forcing couples to confront painful truths about themselves and each other. Juliet and Kate discuss how the aftermath of an affair can bring intense emotions while also opening up difficult but necessary conversations about boundaries, needs, and expectations.

How do changing social norms influence the way we think about fidelity and commitment? The episode explores the evolving landscape of modern relationships, including shifting attitudes toward monogamy, open relationships, and ethical non-monogamy. Lucy, Juliet, and Kate make a clear distinction between secretive affairs and consensual non-monogamy, emphasising that honesty, transparency, and mutual agreement are central to relational health, regardless of relationship structure.

Is healing possible after an affair, and what does rebuilding look like? Drawing on therapeutic insight and real-life examples, Juliet and Kate discuss the slow and often non-linear process of repair. They highlight the importance of accountability, open dialogue, and emotional safety, while also acknowledging that for some individuals and couples, an affair can become a catalyst for deeper self-understanding, growth, and renegotiation of the relationship.This episode offers guidance for those navigating the pain of infidelity, as well as for listeners seeking to better understand their own desires, values, and boundaries. It invites us to move away from judgment and toward curiosity, compassion, and reflection when it comes to love, commitment, and connection.

So, as you reflect on this episode, ask yourself: How open are you (both with yourself and others) about your needs, boundaries, and desires, and what conversations might be waiting to be had before silence turns into rupture?

Connect & Learn More

Learn More

Explore Lucy’s therapy services, retreats, workshops, and resources: https://theyxologist.co.uk

Stay Social
Follow for updates, insights, and behind-the-scenes perspectives:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theyxologist/ @theyxologist

Get in Touch
For session bookings, media enquiries, and collaborations:
Email: [email protected]
Contact Form: https://theyxologist.co.uk/contact/

Work With Lucy
Lucy provides tailored psychosexual and relationship therapy, both online and in person, in Central, East, South West London, and Brighton. She also leads retreats and workshops on intimacy, desire, and navigating life changes like childlessness, infidelity, illness, and shifting relationship dynamics.

Find out more and book via the contact page:
 https://theyxologist.co.uk/contact/

Welcome to Sex Tells, the podcast where we normalise all things around sex and relationships. In this episode, host Lucy Frank explores overcoming stigma and the unique challenges LGBTQ+ survivors of sexual assault face with fellow psychosexual therapist Lisa Etherson  and health psychologist and researcher Kyle McGovern. They discuss how fears of discrimination, the risk of being outed, and a shortage of culturally competent support create unique barriers that can make it even harder for survivors to come forward. Drawing on personal stories and research, Lisa and Kyle highlight the critical need for safe spaces where survivors feel heard and validated.

How does shame play a pervasive role in the aftermath of sexual assault, particularly for LGBTQ+ individuals? Lisa and Kyle explore the complex layers of shame that survivors may experience, not only related to the assault itself but also stemming from societal stigma around sexuality and gender identity. They discuss how internalised homophobia or transphobia can compound feelings of isolation and self-blame, making it harder for survivors to seek help.

What impact do societal myths and misconceptions have on the healing process for LGBTQ+ survivors of sexual assault? The episode examines how harmful stereotypes, such as the belief that sexual assault only happens in heterosexual contexts or that LGBTQ+ relationships are inherently less valid, can invalidate survivors’ experiences. Lucy, Lisa, and Kyle stress the importance of challenging these myths through education and open dialogue. They advocate for more inclusive sex education and public awareness campaigns that accurately represent the realities faced by LGBTQ+ individuals.

Why is it crucial to develop trauma-informed, affirming support systems for LGBTQ+ survivors, and what does cultural change look like in this context? The three discuss best practices for creating safer spaces, including training service providers in LGBTQ+ cultural competency, offering peer support groups, and ensuring that resources are accessible and inclusive. They emphasise that systemic change requires not only policy shifts but also a transformation in societal attitudes - moving toward greater compassion, respect, and affirmation for all survivors.Recognising the specific challenges faced by LGBTQ+ survivors, including stigma, shame, and limited support, is essential for establishing secure and affirming healing environments. Lucy, Lisa, and Kyle are committed to fostering a culture where every survivor, irrespective of their sexual orientation or gender identity, feels acknowledged, listened to, and empowered in their healing process by openly addressing and dismantling shame.

So, as you reflect on this conversation ask yourself: What can you do in your community, workplace, or personal life to support LGBTQ+ survivors and break the silence around sexual assault?

Connect & Learn More

Learn More
Explore Lucy’s therapy services, retreats, workshops, and resources: https://theyxologist.co.uk

Stay Social
Follow for updates, insights, and behind-the-scenes perspectives:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theyxologist/ @theyxologist

Get in Touch
For session bookings, media enquiries, and collaborations:
Email: [email protected]
Contact Form: https://theyxologist.co.uk/contact/

Work With Lucy
Lucy provides tailored psychosexual and relationship therapy, both online and in person, in Central, East, South West London, and Brighton. She also leads retreats and workshops on intimacy, desire, and navigating life changes like childlessness, infidelity, illness, and shifting relationship dynamics.

Find out more and book via the contact page: https://theyxologist.co.uk/contact/