There's a dilemma between what you want to happen, and the anticipatory fear of pain during sex. The protective mechanism is always there to protect you: it's automatic and anticipatory, but you're still able to define your values around sex and communicate your needs and concerns as a man experiencing pain during sex. The context of painful sex is interconnected with social, cultural, and relationships values. How do you define your values in the lens of the biopsychosocial approach? Get a worksheet in the show notes at drsusieg.com to rediscover sexual intimacy and pleasure after pain. . Talli Rosenbaum is an individual and couple therapist and is certified as a sex therapist by The American Association for Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT), as well as the Israeli Society for Sex Therapy (ISST). She co-hosts the Intimate Judaism podcast and is co-author of the book "I am For My Beloved: A Guide to Enhanced Intimacy for Married Couples." and co-edited the Springer textbook entitled "The Overactive Pelvic Floor." Talli is the academic advisor for Yahel: The Center for Jewish Intimacy.