“I am going to write today about what it means to be sex-positive, and some things you can try to become more sex-positive. The International Society for Sex Medicine (ISSM) defines sex-positivity in different ways. Here are some traits of sex-positive people according to the ISSM:

If they have questions about sex, they feel comfortable asking, and they are eager to understand more about the physical, emotional, and psychological aspects of sexual activity.

They understand the importance of safe sex. Safe sex can include ensuring emotional and psychological safety, involving supporting someone with a sexual dysfunction or sexual abuse history.

They believe that sex is a natural part of being human and should be enjoyed by those who want to have sex. For sex-positive people, sex can be discussed without shame or awkwardness, and it is not a taboo subject.

“They accept others’ sexual practices,” or lack thereof, “as long as the participants consent and feel safe, without moral judgment.”

Here are some things that sex positivity is NOT:

Simply enjoying sex. If that were the case, we would have a lot more sex-positive people in the world! Plenty of people who enjoy sex still place shame and stigma on others who have different sexual practices.

Believing that everyone should have sex and enjoy it. The reasons some folks have for not engaging in sex are valid, and should always be respected.

Being hypersexual, with no boundaries, and having sex with anyone and everyone all the time.

Sexually objectifying others, and ignoring power dynamics and intersectionality.

Having an uncomplicated relationship with sex.

Lastly, I want to share a quote from Miri Mogilevsky, a Contributing Writer for Everyday Feminism. “I want a sex positivity that is here for all the trauma survivors, all the asexual and aromantic folks, all the people who don’t love their bodies, everyone who’s ever felt ambivalent about sex, and anyone who feels like sex has done them more harm than good.” I am open to experience wholesome people in reference to the entire human diversity of adults in moderation. I am open to cuckolding, cuckqueaning, hotwifing, and hot husbanding in moderation with the full, enthusiastic, consensual permission of all parties involved especially the life partners and the spouses. I have sex in patches (in moderate quantities, in moderate amounts, within reasonable limits, within sensible limits, within limits, within bounds, within due limits, moderately, up to a point, and occasionally rather than all of the time.)

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