[2018/09/15 14:52:21 from Naxos, Greece]

from my first encounter with meditation i'd been both enticed by it and weary of it
the buddhist philosophy made so much sense to me
it felt like for the first time in my life i heard someone addressing questions which have occupied my attention for many years
but which i've never had an adult conversation about

i saw it everywhere and heard it spoken and sung by everyone
it explained everything
the only thing that it didn't explain was -
why wasn't everybody else seeing it?
if it's so obvious, if it is truly true
why am i the only one i know meditating every day?
how is it that enlightenment is promised but never publicly delivered?
and assuming it is possible, what are the odds of achieving it?
why aren't there specific instructions?

well i guess it makes sense because just like you can't have specific instructions for writing a song or composing a melody
you can't give instructions on how to get enlightened
every person has to find their own way to their song

i'm not sure if that's a metaphor
i mean, if i mean that as a metaphor
or what does that mean
nevermind!
what i know is that i was highly motivated to succeed in realizing this goal
(and therefore highly incentivized to believe in the existence of such a thing as well as the possibility of getting it)
but at the same time i was very skeptical

how can something make so much sense while at the same time making so little?
is this for real?