EVERY YEAR

by Rev. Sarah (Are) Speed

My heart and I have an agreement.

Every year we show up here—

here in the sanctuary,

here with the candles and the tall ceilings,

here with the creaky church pews

and the songs of silent nights.

My heart and I have an agreement.

Every year we show up here—

at the end of the year,

after another 12 months

of humanity, of me

trying to

keep it all together,

trying to

keep my head above water,

trying to

keep up appearances.

Every year we show up here.

We drop it all.

We leave it at the door.

We come into this space

and I could swear it feels different.

Maybe it’s God.

Maybe it’s hope.

Maybe it’s love.

But whatever it is,

I need it

every year,

so we show up here.

Tell us again the story of tonight.

My heart needs it.