In 2016, I was taken to court because of my work as an autonomous midwife. I had a real case I could have pushed back with. I chose not to. I walked away from the proceedings entirely and let them make their verdict.

It didn’t feel like winning. It felt like release.

What I didn’t expect was how far that decision would reach — into friendships, into my marriage, into a pattern of quietly measuring myself against the people closest to me, even in love. This episode traces that thread all the way back, further than I expected it to go, to something I saw in meditation I still don’t fully have words for.

I dropped the war. Not because I won it. Because I no longer needed it.

Shaped by Us — returning to who you actually are, underneath everything installed on top.

Someone close to me asked if I could help them connect with their guides. I said yes — not as a channel, not stepping aside from my own body, but staying fully present and translating what came through.

I had never done this before.

What actually came wasn’t what I expected. Two very different sessions, two completely different presences, and by the end of both, I couldn’t find the edge of myself anymore.

This episode is about what happened, and what it taught me about connection I didn’t see coming.

Shaped by Us — returning to who you actually are, underneath everything installed on top.

My father died in 2021. I wasn’t with him when he went, and for a long time I turned that choice over, looking for a version where I could have done it differently.

Three months after his death, he visited me at night. Not as himself — as something else entirely, unrecognizable, and yet unmistakably him. He told me what dying had actually been like.

Years later, he came again. This time he asked for something specific — something I’d been carrying since I can remember, something he was responsible for putting there in the first place. He wanted it back, for what comes next for him.

This episode is about that visit, what he asked, and why I said yes.If this landed for you, you can support the work here: https://ko-fi.com/shapedbyus

Shaped by Us — returning to who you actually are, underneath everything installed on top.

In the dream, the sea was taking every landmass on earth. Everyone around us was panicking. We were calm — because somehow I knew where we had to go. Islands that wouldn’t be submerged. Islands no map showed.

We spent the last of our money on the closest flight I could find. Arrived with no plan. And what happened next — who we met, what we found, and why I woke up feeling something I almost never feel — is what this episode is about.

It’s not a piece about prophecy, or about the dream coming true. It’s about what “ground” actually is, when it isn’t a belief you defend or a position you stake yourself on.If this landed for you, you can support the work here: https://ko-fi.com/shapedbyus

Shaped by Us — returning to who you actually are, underneath everything installed on top.

A baby rabbit kept ending up outside the nest — cold, alone, the same one every time. For a while I kept warming him and putting him back. Then I stopped, and followed what happened instead.

What I found sitting with him afterward wasn’t what I expected. He hadn’t left the nest on his own. He’d been holding on — to the teat, to the feeding, long after his mother had already moved away. Strong enough to grip. Not able to feel when it was over.

That distinction — between attachment that narrows and connection that widens — turned out to describe more of my own life than I wanted it to. This episode is about what the rabbit showed me, and where I still catch myself doing the same thing.

If this landed for you, you can support the work here: https://ko-fi.com/shapedbyus

Shaped by Us — returning to who you actually are, underneath everything installed on top.

Distance does something special to us.The greater the distance, the easier it becomes to participate in something that we might not be able to bear at all from close up.This article is about abortion.But actually, it is about something much more fundamental.Shaped by Us — returning to who you actually are, underneath everything installed on top.

Two years ago we bought two houses in Sweden to renovate. What we actually found needed fixing was us. This week, a stuck slab under an old bathtub showed just how much has shifted since then. Shaped by Us — returning to who you actually are, underneath everything installed on top.

This morning I understood something most people never stop to look at directly: how much of what we pay for comes down to connection. Not always obviously — sometimes it’s openly relational, sometimes it isn’t marketed that way at all. I wanted to look at it from the other side: not why we pay, but what payment actually does to connection once we introduce it. What I found underneath was fear — not of connection itself, but of losing control over what happens once we’re truly seen. And underneath that fear, something with no name at all. Just an ending. Just not knowing what comes after.

Shaped by Us — returning to who you actually are, underneath everything installed on top.

Read the whole article here.

Why does a debate about physics, UFOs, flat-earth or politics so quickly turn into anger? In this episode, I explore the hidden architecture of human identity—specifically, why we build our sense of self on rigid ideas instead of real ground. This conversation uncovers why changing your mind can feel like losing yourself, and where the only true, unshakeable ground is actually found.

Shaped by Us — returning to who you actually are, underneath everything installed on top.

CERN closed for four years. A few days before it did, I went looking for why — not the official story, but what’s actually happening there. What came back wasn’t about physics. It was about a grid laid over the world, a choice being forced by its closing, and a small opening directly above your own head that most people can’t feel yet.

Connection isn’t something you build. It’s something obscured. This episode is about what’s been doing the obscuring — not just inside you, but at a field level, worldwide — and why the biggest disclosures of our time never seem to land, no matter how large they should be.

Not a call to throw away your phone. A daily, unglamorous choice to stay in contact with what’s actually here.Read the article on substack.