Olympic gold medalist Shawn Johnson East was used to her body doing exactly what she needed it to do. So her road to motherhood—one that included an unexpected pregnancy and a miscarriage—made her feel vulnerable in a totally new way. The mother of two opened up to host Zoë Ruderman about grappling with those emotions, how abusing her body as an elite gymnast caused pregnancy loss guilt, and the impact of her history of disordered eating. She also reveals the heartwarming reason she didn’t find out the sex of her first child. Then, we hear from Dr. Linda Shanti, an expert on the intersection of eating disorders, body image and pregnancy.

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