What happens when your life is decided for you?

In this deeply personal episode of Shells & Shadows, Yehuda sits down with Phil Wintch—one of the therapists from the residential treatment center where Yehuda was sent at sixteen. What unfolds is not a takedown of the youth treatment industry, nor a blind defense of it—but an honest reckoning with the light and the shadow that live inside transformative experiences.

Together, they explore what it means to be forced into change… and what it takes to choose it.

They discuss the reality that youth treatment can be both healing and harmful. That programs can create brotherhood, resilience, and life-altering growth—and still contain dysfunction, power imbalances, and painful mistakes. Both can be true. And maturity requires holding both.

AT THE HEART OF THE CONVERSATION IS A DEEPER QUESTION:

How do you help someone who doesn’t want to be helped?
Or perhaps more honestly—
How do you help someone who doesn’t believe they deserve a better life?

Yehuda shares the grief of leaving his old life behind, the anger and bargaining that came with it, and the moment he glimpsed a vision of something more. Phil reflects on two decades working in youth treatment—what works, what fails, and the heartbreaking pattern of young men who refuse inspiration when it’s offered.

They dive into:

• The hero’s journey as a lens for understanding treatment and transformation• Why some young people rise—and others remain bitter• The importance of checking your motive as a parent before making life-altering decisions• The reality of flawed programs—and the danger of reducing an entire industry to its worst examples• Reactive attachment, trauma, and the belief: “I don’t deserve better.”• Viktor Frankl’s idea of the last human freedom—the ability to choose one’s attitude in any circumstance• Why “deserve” may be the wrong question—and how divine worth reframes everything

THIS EPISODE IS ESPECIALLY FOR:

• Parents facing impossible decisions• Young men wrestling with resentment, identity, or direction• Anyone who has been forced into an unwanted season of growth• Those who are trying to make meaning out of suffering

If you’ve ever had your life disrupted—by circumstance, by family, by God, or by your own decisions—this conversation asks:

Will you refuse the call?
Or will you answer it?

Because whether we choose it or not, the adventure eventually chooses us. And even when everything else is stripped away, one freedom remains:

The freedom to decide who you will become.

If you’re a parent weighing a heavy decision, or someone still carrying the weight of your own treatment journey, please share this. It was recorded for the one person who needs to know they aren't alone in the shadow.

If this conversation sparked something in you and you’re ready to go deeper, work with Yehuda. Visit https://shellsandshadows.com/ to book a free guided breathwork + cold plunge session — a lived initiation into the work of meeting your body, your shadow, and your spark.

In this episode of Shells & Shadows, Yehuda sits down with Bradley Banner, founder of Bannr Systems, for a grounded conversation on discipline, biology, identity, and what it means to truly live with your body—not through it.

Fresh out of college with a background in neuroscience and endurance training, Bradley shares how studying the body became a pathway into understanding behavior, purpose, and self-trust. Rather than offering motivation or prescriptions for “success,” his work focuses on small, repeatable biological inputs—hydration, circadian rhythm, movement, and environment—that quietly shape who we become over time.

Together, they explore the difference between force and alignment, why boredom is a lost skill, how discipline matures, and why identity is less about intention and more about repetition. This is a conversation about becoming—one degree at a time.

In this episode, you’ll hear:
• Why Bradley started Bannr Systems after graduating college—and who it’s built for
• The difference between a life coach and a biological systems coach
• Living with the body as a partner, not a vehicle
• Neuroscience as a bridge between biology, psychology, and behavior
• Circadian rhythm, sunlight, and why modern indoor life drains us
• Running, endurance, and the difference between treadmills and open terrain
• Writing as a form of integration after a black-and-white science education
• Building community over chasing virality
• Mature discipline: when effort stops being punishment and becomes support
• Identity as repetition—and why habits quietly become who we are
• Failure as data, rejection as information, and “crash and burn” as a growth strategy
• Dopamine as pursuit, not happiness—and escaping the trap of easy stimulation
• Boredom, silence, and retraining the nervous system
• Simple daily reps that compound into real change (hydration, salt, light, movement)
• The difference between being liked and being known
• Advice to the younger self: jump in, fail honestly, stay true

If this conversation sparked something in you and you’re ready to go deeper, work with Yehuda:
Visit https://shellsandshadows.com/ to book a free guided breathwork + cold plunge session — a lived initiation into meeting your body, your shadow, and your spark.

About the guest
Bradley Banner is a neuroscience graduate, endurance athlete, and biological systems coach. Through Bannr Systems, he works primarily with young adults to help them build routines that raise both their floor and their ceiling—using biology, discipline, and intentional repetition as tools for becoming more fully themselves.

Find Bradley
Website: https://bannrsystems.com/
Substack: https://bradleybanner.substack.com/

Listen & follow
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2rcl5H8JgFAw9KGLur4Fi2
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/shells-and-shadows/id1791640834

Connect with Yehuda
Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/shelllsandshadows
Personal IG: https://www.instagram.com/yudahalevi
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@shellssandshadows

In this episode of Shells & Shadows, Yehuda sits down with John Paul Kingston (JP) — host of the Cultivated Man Podcast, and a men’s vitality coach focused on embodiment, masculinity, and emotional integration.JP opens with the truth most men spend years avoiding: shame. He shares how carrying sexual trauma from adolescence shaped his relationship to his body, sexuality, and identity — and how bringing it into the light became the doorway into the work he now does with other men.From there, the conversation moves through initiation, brotherhood, and the missing curriculum of modern manhood: how boyhood survival strategies calcify into adult relationships, why partners become the battlefield for unprocessed emotion, and what it actually means to hold chaos without becoming it.You’ll hear JP’s initiation stories (injury, recovery, a vision quest, and the emotional aftermath that followed), plus a rapid-fire segment that gets uncomfortably practical about shame, porn, presence, and the difference between being drained vs activated.WHAT YOU’LL HEAR IN THIS EPISODE• Why shame is the hidden engine behind so many men’s patterns • The difference between a “man” and a grown-up boy (and how to tell) • Why modern society produces under-initiated men — and what’s missing • Brotherhood as mirror: why group work accelerates healing • Order and chaos, masculine and feminine — and the union inside embodiment • The trap of “complete yourself first” vs the power of willingness • Practical emotional regulation: the 7-second space between trigger and response • Signs you’re drained vs activated (and what men reach for when they’re empty)If this conversation sparked something in you and you’re ready to go deeper, work with Yehuda Visit https://shellsandshadows.com/ to book a free guided breathwork + cold plunge session — a lived initiation into the work of meeting your body, your shadow, and your spark.Change one life. Start with your own!Connect with JP!John Paul Kingston (JP) — Men’s Vitality Coach Instagram / YouTube: @jpkxperience Website: jpkxperience.com Podcast: The Cultivated Man

In this episode, I sit down with Daniel Eisenman — host of the Breaking Normal podcast, founder of Tribe Vitamins, and one of the original forces behind Boulder’s 100 Sundays pull-up group.The conversation opens with what Daniel calls a “cosmic wink”: synchronicity as a living language, a breadcrumb trail of events and circumstances that line up in such perfect and ineffable ways. We explore what happens when synchronicity sets the schedule — how it reshapes the way we build our lives, make decisions, and choose what to say yes to.From there, we move into fatherhood, responsibility, and what it actually means to grow up: the shift from “I am the center” to “there is something more important than me.” We talk about the stages of a man’s life, the cultural drift toward self-worship, and the lost art of play — the unscripted, childlike kind that reconnects us to what’s real.And eventually, the conversation lands in the body. If you’ve forgotten how to be authentic, Daniel offers a simple, uncomfortable truth: go outside and scream.In this episode:– Synchronicity as “God’s way of staying anonymous” – Why Daniel says, “Synchronicity is my schedule” – When life becomes undeniably patterned – The sauna as a vortex (and why certain places amplify the signal) – Fatherhood as the deepest human initiation (and why it changes your image of God) – Responsibility as the core of becoming a man – How men learn to put someone else before themselves — and what happens when they never received that – “Breaking Normal” as rewilding: authenticity, play, and unlearning approval addiction – A practical path back to aliveness: breath, cold, nature, screaming, movement, public discomfort – Awareness as a volume knob: stop spending it on guessing what people thinkIf you’re still thinking about something we talked about, that’s probably a breadcrumb. Continue exploring with me, through the writing, conversations, and embodied spaces at shellsandshadows.com.You can follow Daniel Eisenman and explore his work through the links below:Breaking Normal Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/1uoQcaPxCEtC9G6ipNQhWGBook — Breaking Normal: ReWild Your Inner Child and Set the Truth Free: https://www.amazon.com/Breaking-Normal-ReWild-Inner-Child/dp/0999056417Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/daniel.eisenman/Tribe Vitamins: https://tribevitamins.com/🎧 LISTEN TO THE FULL PODCASTNew episodes drop every week.Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2rcl5H8JgFAw9KGLur4Fi2?si=d301d9d2a7f747d6Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/shells-and-shadows/id1791640834—CONNECT WITH YEHUDAPodcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shelllsandshadows?igsh=MTJsazgyY2dsZzF6Yg%3D%3D&utm_source=qrPersonal Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yudahalevi?igsh=OHlqOGduaWxwMXFn&utm_source=qrTiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@shellssandshadows?_r=1&_t=ZP-92VV7WnrN4Z—#ShellsAndShadows #Purpose #CareerAdvice #Philosophy #SelfTranscendence #MeaningOfLife #PersonalGrowth

In this episode of Shells & Shadows, Yehuda sits down with Yitzy Wilhelm—the heart and soul of Chabad at CU Boulder and a cornerstone of the community’s Friday night Shabbat experience.

Yitzy shares what it means to lead Kabbalat Shabbat week after week (for more than a decade, since his bar mitzvah), why welcoming people matters, and what makes Chabad feel like home for students walking in for the first time. From celebrating his bar mitzvah anniversary, to talking about his work life in Denver—tagging prices at the deli and hosting guests at the zoo info booth—Yitzy brings humor, warmth, and that unmistakable “everyone belongs here” energy.

The conversation turns playful and personal: favorite animals, penguins and tigers, Disney movies, morning routines, exercise, travel dreams, and baseball debates—ending with Yitzy’s invitation to come celebrate, throw candies, and bring more simcha into the room.

In this episode:

• What Yitzy actually does every Friday night at Chabad CU

• How to make someone feel welcomed on their very first visit

• Yitzy’s jobs in Denver (deli + zoo) and the animal facts he loves sharing

• Routines, prayer, and what each of them thanks Hashem for

• Tigers, African penguins, and why “just keep swimming” is a life quote

• Popcorn questions: friendships, routines, pride, favorite niggunim, and more

• The episode ends with pure Yitzy energy: simcha, candies, and a warm goodbye

🎧 LISTEN TO THE FULL PODCASTNew episodes drop every week.Watch it on Youtube: Click HereApple Podcasts: Click Here—CONNECT WITH YEHUDAPodcast Instagram: Click Here

Personal Instagram: Click Here—#ShellsAndShadows #Purpose #CareerAdvice #Philosophy #SelfTranscendence #MeaningOfLife #PersonalGrowth

In this deeply thoughtful episode of Bridging Generations, host Howard Snooks (76) sits down with Yehuda Halevi (23), host of the Shells and Shadows podcast, for an honest, wide-ranging conversation that defies the typical "Boomer vs. Gen Z" narrative.

At the intersection of Howard’s decades of experience in clinical social work and Yehuda’s deep dive into Depth Psychology, Internal Family Systems (IFS), and Male Initiatory Work, they model what it looks like to meet across generations with curiosity instead of judgment. Together, they explore how wisdom, vulnerability, and respect can flow both ways to address the unique pressures of the modern world.

Inside the Episode

• The Roots of Generational Tension: Howard and Yehuda discuss why we resist change and how "dissing" other generations is often a projection of our own fears.
• The Loneliness Epidemic in Young Men: A look at the loss of tribal rituals, grounding traditions, and the "primal" part of masculinity that technology has yet to replace.
• Masculinity in Transition: Exploring the "Integrated Man"—moving beyond just "providing and protecting" to embrace heart, soul, and emotional expression.
• Shadow Work & Technology: Yehuda introduces the concept of giving the "Shadow" a seat at the table—learning to use technology and even psychedelics as conscious tools for growth rather than weapons of distraction.
• The Evolution of Love: From "bubbly" chemistry to "adversarial love," the duo examines how partnership acts as a friction that refines rather than destroys the individual.
• Wisdom Transmission: Howard shares his journey from the psychiatric wards of Sheridan, Wyoming, to finding the "person-in-situation," highlighting what modern culture has lost in its rush to digitize human connection.

Key Takeaways

"When a generation is extremely challenged, there is an equal and opposite strength and gift that comes with that naturally." — Yehuda Halevi

"Giving advice is hardly ever useful... 'What do you mean?' is a much better question. It allows someone to find the answers within themselves, and that is where the power lies." — Howard Snooks

Steven Brandwayn strips the performance away from meditation. It isn't about reaching a state of "zen." It is about recognizing when you’ve been pulled off center and building the "bounceback muscle" to return. We map the internal courtroom where Fear, Doubt, Shame, and Guilt—the Four Henchmen—run the show. This is a grounded guide for anyone sick of being hijacked by their own mental chatter and ready to reclaim ownership of their internal world.

Sparks of Wisdom:

The Bounceback Muscle: Meditation is the practical training of your capacity to return to center after a trigger. It’s gym work for the mind.

The Four Henchmen: Fear, Doubt, Shame, and Guilt. They aren't enemies to be killed; they are protectors that need to be sat down and questioned.

The Judge: The specific internal voice that humiliates and paralyzes. Name him and his style to strip him of his authority.

Narrow vs. Broad Awareness: Suffering happens when you get stuck in the narrow lens of your own problems. Wholeness requires the ability to zoom out into the awe of creation.

Metacognition as Freedom: You are not your identity or your frontal lobe's image of yourself. You are the observer.

The AIAI Framework: A four-step process for change: Awareness, Intention, Alignment, and Integration.

Memorable Moments:

“Meditation teaches you what center feels like so you can return to it.”

“You’re not your identity—you’re the one observing it.”

“The problem isn’t fear. The problem is avoiding fear.”

“What you refuse to face continues to run you.”

“Awareness is freedom. Presence is power.”

The Integration: Identify which of the Four Henchmen is riding in your front seat today. Don’t try to kick them out of the car. Sit with them, unpack what they are afraid of, and then move them to the back seat. You are the pilot; they are just passengers.

Inspired and want to learn more? Check out Steven's website to learn more and connect: https://iitree.co/

🎧 LISTEN TO THE FULL PODCASTNew episodes drop every week.

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—CONNECT WITH YEHUDA

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—#ShellsAndShadows #Purpose #CareerAdvice #Philosophy #SelfTranscendence #MeaningOfLife #PersonalGrowth

In this deeply personal episode of Shells and Shadows, I sit down with my uncle, Brian Rosen. While we have always been family, we sit down for the first time to open up about a hidden scar that few talk about: we were both sent away from home as young men.What starts as a conversation about the shock of being placed in a boys' home evolves into a profound reflection on forgiveness. We discuss the moment we stopped blaming our parents and started seeing them as humans—young, struggling, and often ill-equipped to handle the situations they were in.Together, we explore the difficult truth that sometimes, the decision to send a child away isn't an act of abandonment, but a "selfless act" of desperate love.Key Topics & Takeaways:The Shared Experience: Comparing our stories of being uprooted at age 11 and age 16, and the grief that felt like a "death" of our old lives.Humanizing Our Parents: Realizing that our parents were only kids too, dealing with their own struggles, and doing the best they could with what they had.Breaking the Cycle of Blame: How we moved from feeling like "bad kids" to understanding that these circumstances were not our fault, but are now our responsibility to heal.The "Selfless Act": A new perspective on why parents make the heartbreaking choice to place their children in programs, and the immense love required to do so.Finding Meaning in Chaos: How living with diverse groups of boys (from gang members to court-ordered placements) expanded our worldview and empathy.Memorable Quotes:"I look back at my 11-year-old self and understand that it wasn't really his fault.""We are given what we need... even though sometimes it feels like quite a bit more than we can handle.""What does it take for a parent to make that decision? ... It takes a hell of a lot of love.""It was a selfless act... for them to have the strength really to recognize that that's what you needed."

In this intimate solo episode of Shells and Shadows, we strip away the modern obsession with "finding" our purpose and look instead at how we create it.Reflecting on a recent pilgrimage to the Viktor Frankl Museum in Vienna, I explore the profound difference between what we want from life and what life is asking of us. We discuss the concept of "Self-Transcendence," the evolving nature of our calling, and why the intersection of your natural talents and the world’s deep needs is the only place where true meaning resides.If you feel lost in your career path or pressured to fulfill expectations that don’t feel like yours, this episode offers a new way to listen to the breadcrumbs life is leaving for you.Key Topics & Takeaways:• The Vienna Realization: A personal story from the Viktor Frankl Museum and a moment of clarity regarding career paths and teaching.• The Great Intersection: Why purpose is found solely where your unique gifts collide with the world's reality—not in your head.• Self-Transcendence: Shifting the internal monologue from "What will make me happy?" to "Where can I help right now?"• The Evolution of Calling: Why the purpose you had at 15 isn't the one you need at 35, and how to embrace that shift.• Practical Motivation: Why finding this alignment removes the need to "hype yourself up" for work.Memorable Quotes:"Meaning isn't something you go and look for inside of yourself. Meaning is something you create by responding to life.""Purpose is the thing that meets reality and says, 'I can help here.'""Stop asking 'What do I want from life?' and start asking 'What is life asking from me right now?'"🎧 LISTEN TO THE FULL PODCASTNew episodes drop every week.Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2rcl5H8JgFAw...Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/shel...—CONNECT WITH YEHUDAPodcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shelllsandshadow...Personal Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yudahalevi?igsh=...Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@shellssandshadows?...