What does the word "success" REALLY mean to you? Are you sure? Do you believe you have to have a bunch of unrealistic parameters in place (typically defined by someone else) before you'll allow yourself to be rewarded, to "be successful"?
We do this EVERY DAY... delay the manifestation of our gratification because of often unconscious requirements that really aren't ours... or relevant to the receipt of that gratification.
Time to get out of our own way and tweak our version of success.
Where might you have that hidden?