I'm having "top surgery" in Jan 2022, and I'm a whirlwind of nerves, excitement, and impatience. So I channeled all of those emotions into songwriting, and 'Shirtless on the Sofa' was the result. :)

Lyrics:

I'm gonna wake up in pain

Bet you didn't expect that's what I'd say

But I'm gonna wake up on the 24th day of January

And I'm gonna be in pain

So doctor give me that pain med drip

I want whatever makes me trip

So I can think about when the healing's over

I'll run through fields, or maybe skip

My life before will feel a blip

Then I'll be home, lying shirtless on the sofa

I'm gonna wake up that day

And I know exactly what I'll say

I'm gonna look the nurse directly in the eye

And I'll say: "God, that was a weight off my chest!"

And I'll be healing for 6 full weeks

These regulations are a tease

But I'll be careful, designer nipples are expensive

And when I finally see myself: "enchante, quelle surprise!"

I'll get out there, my life will feel like mine to live

I'll have my scars for life

But rather those than live in strife

There is no phrase that fits in quite a similar way

Than if there's no pain, there is no gain

So doctor give me that pain med drip

I want whatever makes me trip

So I can think about when the healing's over

I'll run through fields, or maybe skip

My life before will feel a blip

Then I'll be home, lying shirtless on the sofa