Welcome to another episode of “Austin Rambles Into the Apocalypse”—the only show where a quick stop at a small-town gas station turns into a full theological crisis. Today I break down the Muppet-voiced old-timer who thinks Omaha is a warzone where you need to “shoot your way out,” the Vietnam grandpa who walked into a church board meeting like a one-man Cabela’s clearance rack, and the joy of performing at the newly polished Admiral where the ceiling still cries water for reasons unknown.

Then we nosedive—hard—into the spiritual chaos of Donald Trump accepting an award that literally quotes messianic prophecy about Jesus. Yeah. That happened.

And then I start reading Daniel like a man who forgot his meds but loves the Lord. It’s Bible study meets stand-up meets a guy who worked on a chicken coop at 5AM and is slowly becoming an honorary Mexican uncle. Strap in. It’s a wild one. 

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