Episode Summary

In this episode, Gord and Jenna explore one of the trickier conversations in estate planning: should you tell your children what they’ll inherit?

While disclosure will happen eventually during estate administration, the question is whether discussing the inheritance while you’re still alive helps or hinders family harmony. Gord and Jenna break down the pros and cons, including how preemptive communication can prevent legal challenges and protect family relationships.

Key Topics Covered

• The Timing of Disclosure
  When is the right time to tell your kids? Jenna shares why earlier, values-based conversations may help reduce conflict and increase understanding.
• Litigation Risks
  Gord explains how surprises can lead to hurt feelings, confusion, or worse—estate litigation. A simple family conversation can go a long way in avoiding costly disputes.
• Managing Unequal Distribution
  If one child is receiving more (or less) than another, having a rationale shared while you're alive can help prevent resentment and misinterpretation of your intentions.
• Stewardship and Education
  Transparency gives children a chance to understand and prepare for managing wealth responsibly. Jenna suggests using small gifts as a "test run" to gauge how they’ll handle larger inheritances.
• When Trusts Are Involved
  Trusts for adult children can feel restrictive if they don’t understand the purpose. A clear explanation while the testator is alive can frame the trust as a tool for protection rather than control.
• Planning vs. Secrecy
  Gord outlines how failing to inform your children can create confusion at the worst possible time—during grief. Communication, even if it’s high-level, reduces stress during estate administration.

Practical Takeaways

• Start early: You don’t need to share exact numbers, but general expectations help.
• Use conversation to educate: Talk about values, work ethic, and goals—not just money.
• Prepare your executor: Whether they’re a child or not, make sure they’re aware and ready.
• Use your advisors: Lawyers and planners can help facilitate family meetings.
• Revisit regularly: Families, assets, and relationships change—so should your communication plan.

“Estate surprises may sound fun, but they rarely end well. Talk to your kids. It’s the gift that keeps on giving.”

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Hosts:
Jenna Carvalho
The smartest way to choose an executor.
Guardian Estate Company
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Gordon VanderLeek
Give your family a legacy of protection - Wills, Estates and Trusts.
VanderLeek Law
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