One of the most important things to do in order to love again, is to forgive the person, yourself, and learn from past mistakes. We all have an idea of what love should be like, but if we were wounded from childhood, and never received counsel, or never got over the pain from it. We tend to base love on false reality, the reality that love may sometime hurt and be abusive, it may cheat on you, and drag you through the mud. NO! Love should not be painful, it will not tear you down, it will not call you out of your name, it will not withhold anything good from you.

Love is kind, gentle, caring, concern, patient, true and honest. People have warped senses of what love can and should be. Jesus showed us what love is, by dying for us on Calvary. I'm not saying that we should die for someone to prove our love, but when we love someone the sacrifice to save someone's life, is that you would lay down your life to save the one you love.

In order to truly love again, you must love yourself, be honest with yourself about the mistakes you made and take accountability for them. Do not and I repeat do not play a victim's role, that it was always someone else's fault to why you got hurt, sometimes in all actuality we are the orchestrator of our hurt. Why? Because we never healed from the damage that was done years ago, before this person came into your life and damaged you. Your heart was already messed up, and you had so much baggage that you didn't realize that it was weighing you down. The individual tried to show you love, but you didn't know how to receive it. What happens is, we turn and run in and out of peoples lives causing them harm to the point that they can't take it anymore and then they retaliate. This leaves a trail of dysfunctional relationships behind you, and when you try to start over you can't for fear of failure.

For me to show you how to love again, you would need to take time for yourself to heal. Re-evaluate how you have contributed to your heartache and see what you can do to change that part of your personality or character flaw. One of the hardest things a person can do is evaluate themselves and find fault in themselves, but it is easy to find fault in others. Learn from past mistakes in relationships, go through all your baggage and clean it out, from past, present and even future relationships, do not take past issues into present life. Learn how to communicate your thoughts, dreams, feelings, be open to discusss your likes and dislikes, examine common interests, and most importantly for me is, your belief system. What is your faith life about? Does your faith line up with mine? You must find common ground and build on it. The one thing I learned was to be open to new things and communicate effectively, so there would be no misconceptions. Allow the man to be the man, and let him pursue you. Allow the friendship to build, get to know each other, put the Lord at the forefront of your relationship. Pray together, study the word of God together. Be able to relay when something is hurtful to you, don't make excuses about things that have hurt you, and be willing to explain it to your partner. Be able to accept apologies for mistakes, because we all make them; and should learn from them.

Moving on can be scary, but it can be done. Allow the healing to take place so the Lord can prepare you for his blessings. We tend to see something we want and because it looks appealing so we want it, but it is not what the Lord had planned for us, then we find ourselves in a bad place. Take time to heal from the wounds of your past.

Job 8:7 says: And though your beginning was small, your latter days will be very great.

I know that my latter days now are much better than the days I have behind me, I am so grateful for where the Lord has brought me, and even though those things that are behind me hurt me, they cultivated me, to who I am today.

Romans 8:26 says: Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness, for we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.

Sometimes we just have to cry out to the Lord for direction, sometimes that's all that is needed. The Lord wants to hear from you, he know's what's best for each one of us, and he knows what it's going to take to get our attention, we just need to trust him and his process, because when we do things our own way it tends to fail us.

Philippians 3:13 says: Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead.

I no longer worry about yesterday, I am more optimistic of what life has in store for me presently and in the future. The pain of my past is just that, my past. I walk now in victory from being healed by the word of the Lord, he renewed my strength and I have a praise on the inside that noone can take away.

My prayer for you is that you will allow the Lord to take you through the healing process, understand that you are not alone and others are facing trials, struggles and hardships just like you. You are definitely not alone, there are others that have overcome, and are victorious, because they chose to allow the Lord to take them through the healing process. Take that time for yourself so that you can be healed from the wounds of your past. Then you, will be able to love again.

As always I thank you for listening to my podcast, I pray it has helped you and that you find love again, I pray that you will take what has been said and apply it to your life. I don't confess knowing all things about life, but I have been through enough life disappointments to know what helped me and is still helping me. Everyone is different, but I do pray that this podcast helps you in your healing process. Just know that there is healing for your mind, body, spirit and soul.