Another rock, this one struck his right temple drawing blood, a fresh crimson streak to join the trodden tracks of it’s gone-maroon siblings. And so it was that a man fell for the third time, not just -a- man, but this one. This innocent man indicted, this compassionate man who bore a giant cross for the world, this brave man who sought only to save others from themselves, even these, this gathered sea of twisted faces stuck on heads that bob mindless as waves do, a jeering, spitting surface atop the depth-dark expanse of a formless heaving body, a body bisected down its center, the parting just wide enough to permit the man clear passage to the top of yonder hill, the hill on which he was to die. With the help of his beautiful, weeping wife and his last few disciples, the man steadied his cross and struggled to his feet, all the while suffering thrown rocks and thrown curses, “This aint it chief!” shouted one face from the crowd, “Yikes! Bad take my guy!” cried another. A woman’s face rose from the crowd and she spat upon the man, “Contrarian!” she barked, but the man did not submit to the will of the crowd. Wordless but for a bit of thanks to his loved ones, the man shouldered his burden and continued to the top of yonder hill. When he arrived, his loved ones were sent away and the soldiers came and stripped him of his cross and garment. When the man was naked , a soldier placed a crown of thorns upon his head and presented him before the crowd, “Hail, King of Hot Takes!” the soldier shouted to uproarious laughter and applause. When the laughter subsided, the soldiers brought the man to his cross and bound his hands and feet to it, informing him as they worked that he is to be cancelled publicly and on the cross, alongside three critics who spoke out about the lack of LGBTQ+ representation in the MCU. As all four were being bound, one of the condemned critics cried out to the man saying, “If it is as they say, and you're the king of hot takes, save yourself! Use your powers and tell them that the next Star Wars movie has an equal chance of being good!” The man bound to his cross smiled at the critic and simply said, “I shan’t”. And at the mans words the soldiers began their grim work, hammering flesh to wood. The man’s blood ran freely but never his mouth, as he cried out only once and to address his father in heaven, “Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do..” He said as the soldiers hoisted all four crosses into the air. The man now hammered to his cross, arms outstretched as if to embrace the world, looked over the hateful crowd below, and in that moment shed a tear for them. He then turned his gaze to the heavens, “Into thine hands O’ Lord...I commit my hot takes!” he shouted, and then was killed. Suddenly there was a great darkening of the sky, and a great rumbling in the pockets of all those who were gathered. Taking out their phones each crowd-member made witness to the latest alert that flashed across their phones: “Star Wars The Rise of Skywalker….” it read, “ Certified Rotten.” At the news, one-by-one each member of the crowd turned their eyes toward the man they so callously cancelled on the cross atop yonder hill, and in their despair, they wept.

Topics discussed on today's episode include: Rise of Breakfast, Yoni eggs, Punny Stories, Show Runner Shitshow, Rowling for TERFS, and more StarWars!

Episode originally aired live on Twitch on Thursday 12/19/19 - VOD link for this episode here:

https://www.twitch.tv/videos/523573096

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