Hey friend — welcome back to another cozy, slightly silly episode of True Crimes Against Wine. Today we did what any wine-and-dog-loving friends would do: we matched dog breeds to wines (and one cocktail), riffed on personalities, and learned a few fun facts along the way.

We wandered through some real winners: a graceful Borzoi that felt like mulled wine by a hearth, a tiny-but-mighty Miniature Pinscher who’s totally Napa Valley Cabernet energy, and an every-neighborhood Pitbull that’s basically the reliable, crowd-pleasing Sauvignon Blanc. Then we got into doodles — smart, energetic, sometimes stubborn — which felt like a spicy, cheeky Malbec.

We also paired lab mixes with a California red blend (the kind of bottle you have to investigate online to figure out the exact percentages) and admitted defeat by giving the host’s turbo-then-snoozy puppy an espresso martini because sometimes dogs are straight-up espresso and then instantly a nap.

If you’ve got a breed we didn’t cover (and there are a billion of them), we want to hear what you’d pair your pup with. Hit us up on TikTok, Insta, or via email at True Crimes Against Wine — we might do a part two if you all keep the good ideas coming.

Cheers, and go give your good dog a scratch for us.