Main issue - "A vote for so 'n such is a vote for Obama/Romeny"

Secondary issues - "How to make NDAA work to your advantage"; "USA Presidential Elections are completely fake"; "Why you can't spell Eugenics without Eugene"; "Drinking Sodium Fluoride strait to save time"; "How to build a Jewish gas house Amish style!"; "The reasons Jews-for-Jesus are ruining everything"; "Why you never see Native Americans at Denny's"; "Is it still too soon for Holocaust jokes?"; "The 42 things wrong with God's plan"; "Which would you rather be: a Zombie or a Sheeple"; "How Alex Jones survived by eating the people sent to kill him"; "Why Mitt Romney finds it funny that Christians are voting for him"; "Mormons hate the Amish because the Amish do it right."; "Obama is wrong, the Amish DID build that!"; "Why aren't Amish counted when tallying up the Unemployment number?"; "Teddy Roosevelt could kill Romney & Obama with a toothpick #fact"; "DOW JONES commits suicide, because America used to want to cuddle, now doesn't pay as much attention."

ALL THIS IN 30 MINUTES!!!!