What happens after you take the job?

Many conversations about ministry discernment focus on interviews, resumes, and hiring decisions. But the real work often begins after the offer letter is signed—when the honeymoon phase fades and the deeper values of a ministry begin to surface.

In Episode 49, Mitch Lavender and co-host Christian Konhaeuser-Lopez continue the Entering Into Ministry for the First Time series by shifting the lens to life inside the role.

This is a conversation for anyone quietly asking:

“Is this still healthy for me?”

What We Talk About in This Episode

The First 60–90 Days

Why the early months matter so much—and how listening, observing, and asking questions can help you discern what’s really going on beneath the surface.

Healthy Skepticism (Without Cynicism)

How to pay attention without becoming combative, guarded, or disillusioned—and why awareness is an act of wisdom, not rebellion.

Burnout vs. Compassion Fatigue

We unpack the difference between the two, how they show up in ministry, and why both often go unnamed until damage is already done.

One subtle sign burnout may be beginning:

when you stop operating from your person and start operating from your position.

Values Alignment and Long-Term Cost

Is this place worth your heart, your energy, your time, and your family—five, ten, or twenty years from now?

Not every misalignment means you should leave.

But not every misalignment is survivable.

The Question That Changes Everything

Can I coexist here without losing myself or my values?

This question becomes a compass—whether the answer is yes or no.

When It’s Time to Part Ways

We normalize something rarely spoken out loud:

parting ways can be biblical, faithful, and done with dignity.

Leaving doesn’t automatically mean failure, rebellion, or lack of faith.

Backup Plans and Real-World Pressure

What to do when finances, loyalty, fear, or spiritual guilt make discernment feel impossible—and why having a Plan B is not a lack of trust in God.

Spiritual Direction as Support

Why having someone outside your ministry—who holds no power over you—can be essential during seasons of discernment.

Why This Episode Matters

Ministry is sacred work.

It is also risky work.

We know you care.

We know you love God.

We know you want to serve well.

This episode is dense. If you remember one thing, remember this:

“Do not forget yourself in the process. Pay attention and take care of yourself.”

Because discernment becomes nearly impossible when you are depleted, disconnected, or overwhelmed.

Resources Mentioned

* A Church Called Tov by Laura Barringer and Scot McKnight

* Soul Roots Spiritual Formation (BIPOC-centered, free spiritual direction)

* Previous Shalom Project episode: God Is Not Surprised That You Left Church

A Final Word

If you find yourself in a ministry role where values feel misaligned, or you’re quietly carrying questions you don’t feel safe asking—

You don’t have to hold that alone.

You’re welcome to reach out privately.

We’re here to listen.

We’re here to hold space.

We’re here to remind you that you matter too.

Next episode: “Your Family Doesn’t Get Seconds” — a conversation about boundaries, loyalty, and core relationships.

Music By: Zakar Valaha from Pixabay

Get full access to Shalom Project at mitchelllavender.substack.com/subscribe