"Wives respect your husband" (Ephesians 5:33) is one of the primary commands for wives. Read or listen to this material from Your Marriage God’s Way or watch the message from the Your Marriage God's Way Conference to learn six ways a wife can respect her husband.
https://youtu.be/wAsCrQgBVAI
Wives Respect Your Husband is the fourth message at Your Marriage God's Way Conferences.
Table of ContentsWhy the Change at Ephesians 5:33?Here are Six Ways Wives Can Obey Ephesians 5:33First, Respect Your Husband By Admiring HimSecond, Respect Your Husband By Being TrustworthyThird, Respect Your Husband By Protecting His ReputationFourth, Respect Your Husband By Being AppreciativeFifth, Respect Your Husband By Adapting to HimSixth, Respect Your Husband By Embracing His VisionEphesians 5:25 and 33 Are Not ConditionalMake Your Spouse's Obedience Easier
I’m not handy. At church workdays, they don’t let me near power tools. What is insignificant to some men, such as fixing a sink, is very significant to me—think on par with building a house.
The gate at our house was old and so messed up it wouldn’t shut. I fixed it, went into the house, and told Katie it was done. She could’ve said, “Wow, that’s great. It only took you a few months. Most guys would’ve done that a while ago. When are you going to fix the other things around here?” Instead, she said, “Oh wow, wonderful. Let’s go look at it.” She walked outside, stood beside me while looking at the fence, said I did a great job and made me feel respected.
We moved into a new house but didn’t have any hot water. It occurred to me that the pilot light on the water tank had to be lit. Just this realization made me proud of myself. I went to the garage to light it without knowing what I was doing. The tank looks like a massive bomb, and making it worse are the warning signs that show flames with a man running for his life. I was concerned about blowing up my whole family, so I entertained having everyone stand out on the road (hoping that would be far enough) until I got it lit or blew up the house.
I don’t do many things like this, so I wanted to bring my sons. I had to decide whether bringing them with me to teach them was worth potentially killing them. I did get it lit, and everyone survived. When I told Katie, she made it seem like I had done something great. Even if she was only thankful that I didn’t blow up the house or kill her sons, she made me feel respected.
Why the Change at Ephesians 5:33?
In Ephesians 5:25-32, the apostle Paul described in detail what it means for a husband to love his wife as himself. One might then expect the passage to end with parallel instructions to the wife: “Let each one of you in particular love his own wife as himself, and let the wife love her own husband as herself.” Instead, Paul commanded wives to respect their husbands: “Let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband" (Ephesians 5:33).
Why the difference? First, this does not mean men don’t want to be loved. Titus 2:3-4 says, “Older women [should] admonish the young women to love (phileo) their husbands." Ephesians 5:33 also doesn’t say wives don’t want to be respected. First Peter 3:7 says, “Husbands, likewise, dwell with [your wives] with understanding, giving honor to [them].” Honor is synonymous with respect. The NIV Bible translates 1 Peter 3:7 as “treat them with respect.” Thus, wives need to be respected, and husbands need to be loved. But of the two—love and respect—respect is more important to husbands, and love is more important to wives:
Husbands want to be loved, but they want to be respected even more.
Wives want to be respected but to be loved even more.
Consider how most wives covet their husbands’ expressions of love, such as cards, phone calls, e-mails, or flowers. Though husbands might appreciate such gestures, what they desire more is their wives’ respect.