Slide decks are the lipstick on indecision: pretty, persuasive, and a convenient place to park accountability. In this ten‑minute monologue Dr Disruptor performs a forensic audit of the corporate slide deck—what it claims (clarity, persuasion) versus what it often delivers (political armor, decision deferral, and slide-based bureaucracy). The Survivor supplies empathy-first, immediately usable tactics: three diagnostic signals a deck is being used as theater rather than to inform; a triage flow (Minimize + Deliverable, Convert to Decision Table, or Kill + One‑Pager) listeners can run when asked to 'just build a deck'; and three paste-ready scripts to redirect requests into outcomes (request for decision, proposal with owner, or a scoped single-slide ask). The episode closes with a two‑week pilot: run a 'Deck Minimalist' test on one recurring presentation, KPIs to measure (meetings avoided, decisions captured, hours reclaimed), and a CTA to visit the site to download the 'Slide Deck Minimalist Kit' one‑pager. May your coffee be stronger than your mission statement.