Untamed Grace | Christian Deconstruction, Universalism, & Faith Beyond Fear

Why does one small crack, one honest question, bring down an entire belief system?

In this episode of Untamed Grace, Jeromy sits down with Julie Ferwerda, the author of Raising Hell: Christianity's Most Controversial Doctrine Put Under Fire, for a candid conversation about evangelical deconstruction, spiritual abuse, and what happens when you stop believing in hell. Julie grew up in a Nazarene church steeped in hell-and-damnation theology, in a home that was anything but safe. She spent years as a committed evangelical leader in youth ministry, women's ministry, and worship team, feeling like "a salesman who didn't believe in my own products." Then came a walk in the rain, a friend, a new way of reading the Bible, and one honest question: "What if I'm wrong?"

Hell went first. Julie shares how studying the Bible from Jewish perspectives, a single verse about Adam and Christ, and a year of research led her to Christian universalism and universal reconciliation, and to the conviction that there's no such thing as "lost." Then the Trinity came down too, replaced by an image she received on a silent monastery retreat: you were on the inside looking out, not the outside looking in. Her house of faith turned out to be a house of cards, and yet, in her words, "nothing bad happened." Along the way we get into Richard Rohr, non-duality, the Kabbalistic shattered mirror, a parent's picture of oneness with God, and why she put Jesus on the shelf for years until A Course in Miracles brought him back.

Then it gets adventurous. Julie makes the case for reclaiming the "taboo" tools religion taught us to fear (astrology, reincarnation, New Thought, and the Law of Attraction), arguing the tool isn't the problem, the consciousness you bring to it is. She also shares her take on life as a playful simulation, and the one test she asked God for in the early days of her deconstruction: does this lead to the love and liberation of all people? For the finale, she reads Jeromy's birth chart live, touching on identity, old wounds, and the question of building a sense of home within yourself. Whether you see astrology as a soul blueprint, a mirror, or just a good conversation starter, it makes for a surprisingly tender ending.

Whether you're deconstructing, already on the other side, questioning hell, curious about non-duality and Christian universalism, or wondering if it's okay to explore what you were told to fear, this conversation is for you. You can't get lost. Bring your curiosity, and clutch your steering wheel.

JULIE SUBSTACK: https://julieferwerda.substack.com/
RAISING HELL BOOK https://raisinghellbook.com/

Once grace is tamed, it ceases to be grace. Grace doesn’t hold back. She breaks the rules, softens hearts, and loves without apology. The open, universal, unapologetic love of God. Together we’re building a braver, more honest space. Thanks for your support and for listening.

1. Got a story, question, guest suggestions, or topic idea? Email me.
2. Please share if you believe this show and its message of grace is important in our time—keep it spreading!
3. Be sure to follow on whichever podcast platform you use.

Untamed Grace Facebook Group

Episode partnered with QuoirCast, and written, hosted, edited and produced by Jeromy Johnson.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

What if the moment your faith falls apart… isn't the end, but the beginning of flight?

What happens when you take the infinity of God seriously? Comparative theologian Jon Paul Syndor spent his career refusing to stay inside one tradition's walls — a PhD from Boston College studying Christian theology alongside deep immersion in Hinduism and Buddhism, two years in the Peace Corps reading every religious text he could find, and a dissertation bridging the German theologian Friedrich Schleiermacher with the Hindu theologian Ramanuja. The result is his book, The Great Open Dance, and a theology built on a question most of us are taught never to ask: what if God is too big for any single religion to hold?

In this conversation, Jon Paul makes a crucial distinction that reframes the whole "all paths lead to God" debate: it's not the structure of a religion that leads to the divine — it's agape, God's unconditional, universal love, wherever it shows up. Some religions cultivate it. Some don't. That single criterion changes everything about how we evaluate faith, culture, and each other. Jon Paul walks through panentheism — the belief that God is both within creation and beyond it — and how it transformed his relationship with nature, Scripture, and the sacred itself. We dig into non-dualism, the idea that we were never actually separated from God or from each other, and why "love your enemy" might be the most radical, non-dualistic command in all of Scripture.

This episode also reframes deconstruction itself. Jon Paul argues that tearing down the structures we've placed around God doesn't empty faith out — it endorses the infinity we were always trying to contain. Using the image of a nestling pushed from the nest, he makes the case that the disorientation many of us feel when our theology starts to crumble isn't falling. It's the beginning of flight. We also take a detour into near-death experiences, the mysterious and strikingly consistent reports of encountering overwhelming, unconditional love on the other side — and what they might tell us about the God Jon Paul believes is always bigger than we were told.

Whether you're deconstructing an inherited faith, exploring other religious traditions, or simply trying to figure out what's actually holding your spiritual life together, this conversation offers a way forward: trust God, not the structure. Look for love everywhere. And maybe, just maybe, you were always meant to fly.

Jon Paul's Substack: https://jonpaulsydnor.substack.com

Once grace is tamed, it ceases to be grace. Grace doesn’t hold back. She breaks the rules, softens hearts, and loves without apology. The open, universal, unapologetic love of God. Together we’re building a braver, more honest space. Thanks for your support and for listening.

1. Got a story, question, guest suggestions, or topic idea? Email me.
2. Please share if you believe this show and its message of grace is important in our time—keep it spreading!
3. Be sure to follow on whichever podcast platform you use.

Untamed Grace Facebook Group

Episode partnered with QuoirCast, and written, hosted, edited and produced by Jeromy Johnson.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Apostate. Heretic. Backslider. Every high-control religion has a word for the ones who walk away. In this episode of Untamed Grace, Jeromy sits down with Kristin Montgomery, who spent her life inside generations-deep Mormonism — ancestors who crossed the plains with Brigham Young, daily early-morning seminary, three-hour Sundays, church callings, tithing requirements, and temple recommends — and who eventually earned the church's harshest label the only way you can: by walking out with her honesty intact.

Kristin walks us through her decade-long Mormon deconstruction — the questions she kept "putting on the shelf," the doctrines no bishop could explain (three degrees of heaven, secret temple garments, parents waiting outside their own children's weddings), and the grief of losing both parents that sent her back to the temple one last time. Then her son came out as gay, and the choice became unavoidable: the church or her child. She chose her child — and discovered that real love never should have asked.

But here's the twist that gives this conversation its power: Jeromy grew up evangelical and was taught that Mormons were a cult. Kristin grew up Mormon and was taught the same thing about evangelicals. Yet their stories are nearly identical — the fear, the shame, the slow erosion of self-trust, the claim to be the one true church. Together they trace the shared DNA of every high-control religion, whatever name is on the building. Today, Kristin is connected to Mama Dragons, the worldwide support community for mothers of LGBTQ+ children, and has found a bigger, kinder, more inclusive God — one she meets in nature, in meditation, and sometimes in prayers to a Heavenly Mother.

Whether you're an ex-Mormon, an exvangelical, a parent of an LGBTQ+ child, or someone still quietly placing questions on the shelf, this episode is for you. The label they gave you was meant to shame you back into line. It might just be a receipt — proof you paid the full cost of honesty.

Once grace is tamed, it ceases to be grace. Grace doesn’t hold back. She breaks the rules, softens hearts, and loves without apology. The open, universal, unapologetic love of God. Together we’re building a braver, more honest space. Thanks for your support and for listening.

1. Got a story, question, guest suggestions, or topic idea? Email me.
2. Please share if you believe this show and its message of grace is important in our time—keep it spreading!
3. Be sure to follow on whichever podcast platform you use.

Untamed Grace Facebook Group

Episode partnered with QuoirCast, and written, hosted, edited and produced by Jeromy Johnson.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

What if the part of you the church told you to fight was never the enemy?

In this episode of Untamed Grace, Jeromy sits down with Andy Wells, author of Tried to Be Straight, for a deeply honest conversation about conversion therapy, LGBTQ faith, queer theology, and learning to stop asking for permission to exist.

Andy spent years as a devoted Christian while privately wrestling with being gay. He pursued conversion therapy, lived with the pressure of trying to become straight, and carried the weight of self-rejection, addiction, and spiritual fear. But his story did not end there.

Together, Jeromy and Andy explore what it means to read Scripture through a queer lens, including the story of the Ethiopian eunuch, the blind man in John 9, Psalm 139, and the possibility that the Bible may have been speaking belonging over queer people all along.

This conversation moves beyond simple “affirming” language and asks something deeper:

For anyone navigating Christian deconstruction, LGBTQ inclusion, religious trauma, conversion therapy, queer theology, faith reconstruction, or the long road toward self-acceptance, this episode offers a vision of faith beyond fear—and a God much bigger than the one many of us inherited.

Andy's Website: AndyWells.gay

Once grace is tamed, it ceases to be grace. Grace doesn’t hold back. She breaks the rules, softens hearts, and loves without apology. The open, universal, unapologetic love of God. Together we’re building a braver, more honest space. Thanks for your support and for listening.

1. Got a story, question, guest suggestions, or topic idea? Email me.
2. Please share if you believe this show and its message of grace is important in our time—keep it spreading!
3. Be sure to follow on whichever podcast platform you use.

Untamed Grace Facebook Group

Episode partnered with QuoirCast, and written, hosted, edited and produced by Jeromy Johnson.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

What does it take to survive when the people and systems that were supposed to protect you become part of the pain?

In this episode of Untamed Grace, Jeromy sits down with Grace Sandra for a powerful conversation about childhood trauma, abuse, racial identity, church hurt, healing, and the long journey of learning to trust yourself again.

Grace shares her story of growing up with sexual abuse, family dysfunction, and a mother struggling with severe mental illness. She reflects on what it was like to navigate life without a sense of safety, carrying wounds that shaped how she viewed herself, other people, and even God. Along the way, she opens up about surviving an abusive marriage, wrestling with religious conditioning, and discovering that healing often begins when we stop pretending we're okay.

Together, Jeromy and Grace explore:

This conversation is honest, raw, and deeply human. Rather than offering easy answers, Grace invites listeners into the reality of what healing looks like when life has taught you to stay guarded, hypervigilant, and disconnected from yourself.

If you've experienced trauma, struggled with self-trust, felt unseen by the church, or spent years simply trying to survive, this episode offers something many of us need: permission to tell the truth, compassion for the journey, and hope that healing is possible.

Because eventually the goal isn't just surviving.

It's becoming.

Sandra's YouTube Channel. 

Once grace is tamed, it ceases to be grace. Grace doesn’t hold back. She breaks the rules, softens hearts, and loves without apology. The open, universal, unapologetic love of God. Together we’re building a braver, more honest space. Thanks for your support and for listening.

1. Got a story, question, guest suggestions, or topic idea? Email me.
2. Please share if you believe this show and its message of grace is important in our time—keep it spreading!
3. Be sure to follow on whichever podcast platform you use.

Untamed Grace Facebook Group

Episode partnered with QuoirCast, and written, hosted, edited and produced by Jeromy Johnson.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

What happens when you grow up being taught that your inner voice is dangerous?

In this episode of Untamed Grace, Jeromy sits down with Nanette Foster for a deeply honest conversation about religious conditioning, intuition, church hurt, and learning to trust yourself again after fear-based faith.

Raised in a deeply fundamentalist environment shaped by control, certainty, and distrust of the self, Nanette shares her personal journey through spiritual deconstruction, healing, and what she calls “rewilding”—the slow process of returning to the person God actually created you to be beneath layers of shame, performance, and conditioning.

Together, they explore:

This episode is especially for those navigating:

Nanette reframes intuition not as rebellion against God—but as a God-given inner guidance system designed to lead us toward wholeness, wisdom, and deeper spiritual alignment.

If you’ve ever felt disconnected from yourself…

this conversation offers language, permission, and hope.

Because maybe healing begins the moment you stop treating yourself like the enemy, and begin to trust yourself again...or perhaps, for the very first time.

Nannette's Website  

Once grace is tamed, it ceases to be grace. Grace doesn’t hold back. She breaks the rules, softens hearts, and loves without apology. The open, universal, unapologetic love of God. Together we’re building a braver, more honest space. Thanks for your support and for listening.

1. Got a story, question, guest suggestions, or topic idea? Email me.
2. Please share if you believe this show and its message of grace is important in our time—keep it spreading!
3. Be sure to follow on whichever podcast platform you use.

Untamed Grace Facebook Group

Episode partnered with QuoirCast, and written, hosted, edited and produced by Jeromy Johnson.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

After a lot of reflection, thought, and honestly… a bit of mourning… Slutty Grace is entering a new chapter.

In this special standalone episode, Jeromy shares the deeply personal story behind the podcast’s evolution into Untamed Grace — why the name is changing, why the heart of the show isn’t, and how the deeper voice of the podcast slowly emerged over the past year.

What began as a conversation about God’s radical grace expanded into something broader and deeper: freedom from fear-based faith, healing from shame, learning to trust our inner voice again, and creating space for honest questions, awakening, reconstruction, and spiritual freedom.

This episode is less about rebranding and more about evolution.

It’s about grace that refuses to stay controlled.
Grace that keeps escaping the fences.
Grace that still looks a lot like Jesus.

Because honestly… once grace is tamed, it ceases to be grace.

And while the front door may have been repainted… the music inside is still loud.

Support the show

_______________________________________________________

Grace doesn’t hold back. She breaks the rules, softens hearts, and loves without apology. The open, universal, unapologetic love of God. Together we’re building a braver, more honest space. Thanks for your support and for listening. 

1. Got a story, question, guest suggestions, or topic idea? Email me.  
2. Please share if you believe this show and its message of grace is important in our time—keep it spreading!
3. Be sure to follow on whichever podcast platform you use.

Slutty Grace Facebook Group

Episode w_ritten, hosted, edited and produced by Jeromy Johnson._

Once grace is tamed, it ceases to be grace. Grace doesn’t hold back. She breaks the rules, softens hearts, and loves without apology. The open, universal, unapologetic love of God. Together we’re building a braver, more honest space. Thanks for your support and for listening.

1. Got a story, question, guest suggestions, or topic idea? Email me.
2. Please share if you believe this show and its message of grace is important in our time—keep it spreading!
3. Be sure to follow on whichever podcast platform you use.

Untamed Grace Facebook Group

Episode partnered with QuoirCast, and written, hosted, edited and produced by Jeromy Johnson.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

What happens when the faith that once gave your life meaning… stops working?

In this episode of Slutty Grace, Jeromy sits down with Jim Palmer—former megachurch pastor, founder of The Center for Non-Religious Spirituality, and guide for those navigating Christian deconstruction, religious trauma, and life after leaving the church.

Jim shares his story of rising through the ranks of evangelical Christianity, only to discover a growing disconnect between what he was preaching and what people were actually experiencing. Behind the polished surface of church life, he saw anxiety, brokenness, and quiet suffering—including within himself. That tension eventually led him to walk away from ministry, deconstruct his beliefs, and begin the difficult process of rebuilding a life and spirituality from the inside out.

Together, Jeromy and Jim explore:

• What it really feels like to go through faith deconstruction
• The loss of identity, community, and certainty after leaving religion
• Why so many people experience church hurt and spiritual trauma
• The fear of “losing God” when questioning your beliefs
• And what it might look like to follow Jesus beyond religion

Jim reframes deconstruction not as failure, but as a threshold—a deep, internal transformation happening beneath the surface. Instead of rushing to replace old beliefs with new ones, he invites listeners to sit in the questions, trust the process, and begin forming a more honest, grounded spiritual life.

If you’re questioning your faith, feeling untethered after leaving Christianity, or wondering what comes next—this conversation is for you.

Because maybe Christianity broke…but something deeper didn’t.

Maybe you’re not losing your faith.
Maybe you’re finding what was real all along.

LINK: The Center for Non-Religious Spirituality

Support the show

_______________________________________________________

Grace doesn’t hold back. She breaks the rules, softens hearts, and loves without apology. The open, universal, unapologetic love of God. Together we’re building a braver, more honest space. Thanks for your support and for listening. 

1. Got a story, question, guest suggestions, or topic idea? Email me.  
2. Please share if you believe this show and its message of grace is important in our time—keep it spreading!
3. Be sure to follow on whichever podcast platform you use.

Slutty Grace Facebook Group

Episode w_ritten, hosted, edited and produced by Jeromy Johnson._

Once grace is tamed, it ceases to be grace. Grace doesn’t hold back. She breaks the rules, softens hearts, and loves without apology. The open, universal, unapologetic love of God. Together we’re building a braver, more honest space. Thanks for your support and for listening.

1. Got a story, question, guest suggestions, or topic idea? Email me.
2. Please share if you believe this show and its message of grace is important in our time—keep it spreading!
3. Be sure to follow on whichever podcast platform you use.

Untamed Grace Facebook Group

Episode partnered with QuoirCast, and written, hosted, edited and produced by Jeromy Johnson.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

If God really restores all things… does that include Satan?

In this episode, Jeromy sits down with Justin Coutts to explore one of the most uncomfortable—and revealing—questions in Christian theology: can Satan and demons be saved?

What starts as a listener question turns into a much deeper conversation about the nature of evil, the purpose of hell, and whether anything is truly beyond the reach of God’s love.

Together, they unpack:

• why early Christian thought didn’t always see demons as beyond redemption
• how “hell” may be less about punishment and more about restoration
• the idea that evil isn’t a permanent force—but something that can be healed
• whether Satan is a literal being, a symbol, or something in between
• and how this question reveals our deeper fears about grace itself

This episode challenges the idea that God’s love has limits—and invites a bigger question:

Is there anything beyond God’s reach?

If you’ve wrestled with hell, deconstruction, or the fear that some things—or some people—are too far gone, this conversation opens the door to a radically different possibility.

Justin's Website: https://newedenministry.com/

Support the show

_______________________________________________________

Grace doesn’t hold back. She breaks the rules, softens hearts, and loves without apology. The open, universal, unapologetic love of God. Together we’re building a braver, more honest space. Thanks for your support and for listening. 

1. Got a story, question, guest suggestions, or topic idea? Email me.  
2. Please share if you believe this show and its message of grace is important in our time—keep it spreading!
3. Be sure to follow on whichever podcast platform you use.

Slutty Grace Facebook Group

Episode w_ritten, hosted, edited and produced by Jeromy Johnson._

Once grace is tamed, it ceases to be grace. Grace doesn’t hold back. She breaks the rules, softens hearts, and loves without apology. The open, universal, unapologetic love of God. Together we’re building a braver, more honest space. Thanks for your support and for listening.

1. Got a story, question, guest suggestions, or topic idea? Email me.
2. Please share if you believe this show and its message of grace is important in our time—keep it spreading!
3. Be sure to follow on whichever podcast platform you use.

Untamed Grace Facebook Group

Episode partnered with QuoirCast, and written, hosted, edited and produced by Jeromy Johnson.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Purity culture didn’t just teach rules about sex — it reshaped how we see ourselves.

In this episode of Slutty Grace, we explore the lasting impact of evangelical purity culture — from sexual shame and fear-based teaching to the deeper loss of self-trust and identity.

Jeromy sits down with Mattie Jo Cowsert for an honest, unfiltered conversation about what purity culture took: self-worth, agency, and the ability to trust your own body. Together, they unpack how teachings around “purity” shaped relationships, distorted desire, and left many feeling disconnected from themselves long after leaving the system.

This isn’t just about sex.

It’s about shame, identity, and the long process of healing.

If you’ve ever felt like your worth was tied to your behavior…or struggled to trust yourself after deconstructing your faith…this conversation will likely hit close to home.

Topics include:

• purity culture and evangelical sexual teaching
• sex, shame, and self-worth
• losing and rebuilding self-trust
• deconstruction and healing after toxic religion
• relationships shaped by religious conditioning

If this episode resonates, you might also connect with:

• The Death of Pastor Dave — on shame, addiction, and identity
• You Don’t Deserve Love—the lie that shaped me and the God who never agreed.
• Did I Fail as a Youth Pastor? — deconstructing inherited beliefs

Mattie Jo Cowsert's Website

Buy Mattie Jo’s Book, Sex, God, and Rich People

Support the show

_______________________________________________________

Grace doesn’t hold back. She breaks the rules, softens hearts, and loves without apology. The open, universal, unapologetic love of God. Together we’re building a braver, more honest space. Thanks for your support and for listening. 

1. Got a story, question, guest suggestions, or topic idea? Email me.  
2. Please share if you believe this show and its message of grace is important in our time—keep it spreading!
3. Be sure to follow on whichever podcast platform you use.

Slutty Grace Facebook Group

Episode w_ritten, hosted, edited and produced by Jeromy Johnson._

Once grace is tamed, it ceases to be grace. Grace doesn’t hold back. She breaks the rules, softens hearts, and loves without apology. The open, universal, unapologetic love of God. Together we’re building a braver, more honest space. Thanks for your support and for listening.

1. Got a story, question, guest suggestions, or topic idea? Email me.
2. Please share if you believe this show and its message of grace is important in our time—keep it spreading!
3. Be sure to follow on whichever podcast platform you use.

Untamed Grace Facebook Group

Episode partnered with QuoirCast, and written, hosted, edited and produced by Jeromy Johnson.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.