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Small Talk & Overwhelm: Is Dating Different When You Have ADHD? With Logan Ury


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How do you go with small talk, keeping the conversation going and not feeling overwhelmed by matches and messages? Do you ever wonder how the people you’re matching with perceive you? I felt all of the above. I hated small talk and found it incredibly boring, I was constantly overwhelmed by the expectation to reply if I hadn’t checked my messages in a little while and I was always worried that I would appear ‘too intense’ to the people I had matched with and I tried to tone myself down so that they wouldn’t be scared off. 

Hinge recently conducted some research into dating and ADHD! They examined over 9000 daters on Hinge across the world with a clinical ADHD diagnosis to get a bit of a read of the room on how dating can affect us. Joining the podcast is Logan Ury; Hinge’s Director of Relationship Science. She’s a behavioural scientist turned dating coach and the author of the best-selling dating book, How to Not Die Alone. 

In today’s episode we talk:

  • What people with ADHD tend to struggle with on the apps
  • Why small talk is a huge hurdle for people with ADHD
  • How to avoid small talk 
  • Masking and being scared of being viewed as ‘weird’ or unusual
  • Shift vs support responses. What they are and how it will REALLY help people with ADHD
  • Analysis paralysis and the paradox of choice

You can find more from Logan Ury at her website 

 and instagram 

You can read Hinge’s ADHD dating report 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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CLOUDBy Life Uncut Production