Smarty Pants Lance takes turbulent flights of comedy fancy when he talks about the airlines. 

From a true story involving outrageously stupid airport security who try to prevent an FAA flight inspector from boarding, to another true story featuring those stupid, stupid, stupid- not enough stupids?- security folk, to gaining altitude with the lovely  "pleasures of flight, and finally making a perfect landing on your funny bone.     

Where's Dean Martin, George Kennedy, Burt Lancaster and Jacqueline Bisset when you need them?  Airport (1970) reference.