"Let me know what I can do for you!" It's a common statement made by very well-intended friends and family when someone is going through loss.

But even thinking about an answer to that question, much less all the surrounding thoughts (Am I asking too much? Do I want to reveal this much about myself?) — it's exhausting for someone who is probably already in emotional chaos.

A better solution? Drop off groceries. Don't stay for conversation, just let your loved one know the food is there, and give them space. Or text a note that says, "You don't need to respond to this, but I'm thinking of you."

It can be so hard to know what to say, and no one wants to make pain worse by saying the wrong thing. But as Grief Coach Wendy Sloneker says in this oh-so-valuable conversation with hosts Anne and Ruby, sharing happy memories can be a gift. Just follow your loved one's lead.

If you're trying to find a way to support someone, there are some great ideas and advice in this episode. If you're going through grief and you wish your friends knew the information in this episode, maybe ask a trusted friend to share it out.

For more grief support, contact Wendy at her website, https://www.wendysloneker.com/. And of course, get more episodes of The Whole Pineapple from their website, https://thewholepineapple.com/.