Okay, story time.

And before you think this is going to be one of those heavy “let me inspire you with my rock bottom” posts, relax. We’re going to laugh. We’re going to cry. We’re going to have a moment.

But mostly? We’re going to talk about why successful women stay broke while helping everyone else get rich.

Because I lived it. And I’m guessing you’re living some version of it right now.

So here’s what happened:

I was homeless with my kids.

Not the cute “we’re on an adventure” homeless (although they didn’t know). The real kind. Where I slept on a blow-up mattress in my store and washed my kids in the bathroom sink after everyone left.

And here’s the kicker: While I was doing that, I was helping other people make millions.

I’m talking actual millions. Not “building toward it” millions. Closed deal millions.

I helped a woman who’d been on TV (you’d recognize her) rebuild her entire business. She was broke. Working with all the top coaches. Nothing was working.

I helped her fix it. She made multiple six figures. Never came back to bless me.

I spent four hours on the phone with someone, coaching them through a challenge launch. Four hours. They made $7,500 from scratch.

Never came back to bless me.

I helped a pastor close multiple six-figure deals. And one eight-figure deal.

You know what happened? Nothing. Radio silence.

And there I was. Washing my kids in a sink. Well, the first time. Let’s not even go into other times not eating, so my babies could, and calling it fasting.

Now here’s where it gets interesting:

I thought I was being a good Christian woman. Gracious. Honorable. Servant-hearted.

But really? I was just prostituting my gifts.

(Yeah, I said it. We’re going there.)

I had zero boundaries. I said yes to everyone. I gave my best work for free because I thought that’s what Kingdom women do.

And you know what I got? Homeless. I remember playing games with my older son with candles because we had no lights. He put two and two together now that he is 24 buuuttt at the time the coast was clear.

Meanwhile, the people I helped? Thriving.

The question I asked God was basically:

“Um, hello? What’s happening here? I’m out here helping everyone, serving with excellence, giving freely. Why am I the one washing kids in a bathroom sink?”

Yes, I talk straight with Papa God. It wasn’t pretty. I think there was a kick and pouty face tantrum, but shhhh, let’s keep that between us.

The answer came slowly. Not in words. In closed doors.

Every job I applied for? Rejected. Every partnership? Fell through. Every “this is finally it” moment? Disappeared.

Until the only door left open was this one: Learning to stop giving my gifts away and start building with them.

And that’s when I started noticing something:

Men don’t do this.

Okay, let me explain before the guys reading this get defensive.

Men value their expertise differently. A man will meet you for coffee, and when you say, “Can I pick your brain?” he’ll either charge you or give you 10 minutes max.

Women? We’ll give you three hours. A full strategy. Implementation steps. Follow-up texts.

And then we wonder why we’re broke.

Here’s the thing about masculine and feminine energy: Masculine energy protects. Feminine energy gives.

Both are good. Both are needed.

But when you’re operating in pure feminine giving mode with zero masculine boundaries? You deplete yourself.

And depletion doesn’t build empires. It builds resentment.

The Five Patterns That Kept Me (And Probably Keep You) Broke:

1. No Boundaries Around Your Gifts

You give free consultations. You answer DMs with full coaching sessions. You “help real quick,” and three hours later, you’ve given away your best strategy. (and yes, I was drenched in the but they are Belivers guilt)

Meanwhile, men are like, “My rate is $500/hour. When would you like to book?” (my HERO)

Both approaches work. But one pays your bills.

I remember one day my son was like Mom, you have to stop this way of doing business, you are too brilliant for this. You always get the short end of the stick. We pay for it. Ouch, hit me in the gut. He went straight for the upper cut, but it was the truth.

2. Platform Scatter Syndrome

Girl. How many platforms are you on right now?

Instagram. LinkedIn. Alignable. Facebook. TikTok. Threads. BeReal (okay, maybe not BeReal, but you get it, hmmm, maybe that is the future, ha).

You’re posting everywhere. Showing up somewhere different every day.

Men? They pick one platform. They go deep. They build authority.

We’re out here trying to be available to everyone everywhere, and we’re building width instead of depth.

It’s exhausting. And it’s not working.

3. Decision Dependency Pattern

Raise your hand if you’ve ever asked twelve people what they think before making a business decision.

(My hand is UP.)

We poll our audience. We ask our mastermind. We hire coaches to tell us what to do.

Men make decisions faster because they’re wired to trust their gut and move.

Women wait for consensus because we’re wired for collaboration.

But here’s the thing: Collaboration is beautiful. Decision dependency is not.

Your business needs YOUR internal authority. Not everyone else’s opinions. Oh, and I wanted a partnership. I didn’t want to do it alone (my weakness), so I kept asking instead of trusting my intuition.

Here is the thing, though.. The way we are conditioned now, women trust their intuition less and less. We are told we are too emotional, or we don’t make sense, etc. Then we are in masculine flows and frameworks, so we don’t move with speed.

4. Opportunity Addiction

Every collaboration sounds good. Every partnership could be THE ONE. Every “let me introduce you to” might be your big break.

So you say yes. And yes. And yes.

And your energy scatters further.

Men are better at saying no because (and this is key) they’re not afraid of missing out. They know focus beats frenzy.

We’re over here with FOMO running our business decisions.

5. Gift Diaspora

Your talents are everywhere. A little coaching here. A course idea there. That podcast you started. Three half-built projects.

Nothing unified. Nothing deep. Just scattered.

And you can’t build an empire when your gifts are in diaspora.

No accession plan and no consistency. Just everywhere.

What Finally Changed for Me:

Three things saved me:

* Keep it simple. Stop building five businesses. Build one powerful house.

* Stay consistent. Stop platform hopping. Go deep in one place.

* Understand the power of integration. Your gifts need to work together under one vision.

I also learned: Boundaries aren’t mean. They’re sacred.

Charging for your expertise isn’t greedy. It honors what God gave you.

Saying no to opportunities that scatter you isn’t fear. It’s wisdom.

And here’s something interesting about the whole masculine-feminine thing: You need both.

The feminine receives. The masculine protects what was received.

The feminine creates. The masculine builds structure around the creation.

The feminine gives. The masculine establishes boundaries so the giving is sustainable.

Most of us are operating in pure feminine mode with zero masculine structure. That’s why we’re exhausted.

Okay so here’s what I’m doing about this:

I’m opening 12 spots at $497 for something I’m calling The Simplify to Scale Session.

Twelve. That’s it. And it goes back up.

Because I know what it’s like to need help but not afford the $5K programs. I know what it’s like to buy another course with zero actual support. I know what it’s like to be a doer and be faithful and not have someone give you grace. I have met with so many in the last few months like this.

I know what it’s like to try someone else’s strategy that worked for them, but doesn’t fit your design at all.

This is a lifeline. Not a sales funnel. I have people inbox me and say they follow me and want to work with me. They need a session or want to work 1 to 1. I usually do this for 2500. I know you are like, What Tanya? You are crazy. Listen, I still have a heart. I have to hold you accountable for something, but I hear the cries for a lifeline.

Yes, I even included financing. You can even email me [email protected] and my assistant, or I will get back to you and make it happen, BUT I need you to be serious.

Here’s what you get:

* 90-minute session (recorded so you can watch it 47 times if you want)

* Mini-Blueprint (2-3 pages of actual next steps for YOUR business, not cookie-cutter BS)

* Resource sheet with tools that fit your design (because what works for Mr. Bro Marketer doesn’t work for contemplative women)

* 30-minute follow-up call (because implementation questions always come up)

This is for you if:

* You’re making money, but it doesn’t stick

* You look successful on the outside, but you’re barely holding on

* Your hormones are a disaster (hi, cortisol)

* You’re scattered across platforms, opportunities, and half-built projects

* You’ve helped others succeed while you stay stuck

* You’re done with courses. You need actual support.

* You don’t want to be on social media and tied to your computer; you want to scale

* You need a plan that fits YOU

Investment: $497 for these 12 spots.

After that? $697. Then $997. Until I get to 100 women set free. I actually don’t do the consulting anymore, but if I am honest, my heart is truly frustrated at what I am seeing right now. I prayed about it, and it’s time to work face-to-face a bit.

But right now? This is the “I remember what it was like to be broke” price.

Schedule Here (if you need financing, you can go here: or with Klarna during check. I left a few options FINANCING)

Let’s get you unified so you can stop washing kids in bathroom sinks (metaphorically or literally).

Your Activator Tanya Tenica

P.S. To the men reading this: Your support matters. If you know a woman entrepreneur who’s scattering herself thin, send her this. She needs permission to build boundaries. And sometimes that permission needs to come from the men in her life who respect her gifts. I do help men as well if you need a redirect or to understand your lady clients.

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