Crown Chakra hijacks the mic (and your purple-wifi connection) to crack open today’s hottest buzzword. Forget airy-fairy fluff—this is a lovingly snarky reality check on what awakening is (a cosmic firmware update that lands right between paying the phone bill and decoding last night’s HD dreams) and what it definitely isn’t (smug bypassing, kombucha-in-mason-jar merch, or rage-tweeted wisdom).

Inside this quick download you’ll learn:

• How solar flares, layoffs, and HD dreams are all pinging the same upgrade request
• The 7-step chakra roadmap that turns “woke” into an everyday practice
• Pro-tips for riding detox waves and spiritual imposter syndrome without ghosting your grandma

Plug in, upgrade, and keep your feet in the soil while your head streams Source. Hit play, then stay luminous.

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