Listen, I’m going to be straight with you—seeing a cockroach scuttle across your tile at 2:00 AM is enough to make anyone want to pack up and move back to Ohio. But before you start looking at real estate listings, take a breath. I’m Coby McConnell, and down here in Clearwater, dealing with roaches is practically a local pastime.

In Florida, it’s not a matter of if you’ll see a bug; it’s a matter of what you do once the meeting happens. Here is my “No-Nonsense Guide” to reclaimed territory in your own home.

Not all roaches are created equal. In our neck of the woods, we usually deal with two main types:

The “Palmetto Bug” (American Cockroach): These guys are big, they fly (usually right at your face), and they mostly come in from the outside looking for water. They’re scary, but they aren’t usually looking to move in permanently.

The German Cockroach: These are the small, light brown ones with two dark stripes. If you see one of these, call me immediately. They breed faster than you can keep up with, and they love your kitchen cabinets.

I see it all the time. People go to the big-box store, buy a dozen foggers, and set them off. All that does is push the roaches deeper into your walls or behind your baseboards. It’s like trying to put out a campfire by throwing sand at the smoke—it doesn’t hit the source.

Roaches are simple creatures. They want three things: food, water, and a place to hide. If you take those away, you make your home a lot less “vacation-friendly.”

Dry it out: Fix that leaky pipe under the sink. Roaches can live a month without food, but they won’t last a week without water.

Seal the snacks: Put your cereal, flour, and pet food in airtight plastic containers. Cardboard boxes are basically a roach buffet and a nursery all in one.

Mind the gaps: Grab a tube of caulk and hit the cracks around your plumbing and baseboards.

If you see a roach during the day, or if you find “pepper flakes” (roach droppings) in your drawers, you’ve likely got an infestation that a can of Raid isn’t going to fix.

At Coby’s Tentless Termite and Pest Control, we don’t believe in making you move out of your house just to get rid of some unwanted guests. We use targeted treatments that get to the heart of the colony without the hassle of a circus tent over your roof.

The Bottom Line: Don’t be embarrassed. We live in a swamp; bugs happen. The difference between a “one-off visitor” and a “full-blown roommate” is how fast you take action.

Stay dry, stay vigilant, and keep your shoes handy.