Social media would have us believe that literally anyone can achieve anything they set their mind to and follow it up with a series of aspirational pictures about their now perfect lives and the explosion of delirious happiness that comes from living your dreams every single day for the rest of eternity. As much as I love the idea of cultivating positivity, this just isn’t an attainable reality for most of us (at least not in the way it’s being packaged on the internet).

I don’t think it’s fundamentally “bad” or “wrong” to curate your social media feed; we all do it to some degree for preservation of privacy, dignity, and self-worth. And if your aim is to grow a following, you have to offer your audience a sense of cohesiveness or purpose. These things aside, I do think it’s terribly unhealthy to use the scroll as a barometer of our own success (or failings). We are human and the human experience is too vastly complex and nuanced to encapsulate in a social media feed.

Does this mean that we should toss out our devices entirely and call this whole social experiment a wash? Maybe? Or maybe we can re-frame the way we utilize it and turn it to our advantage. Maybe it’s possible to be inspired by others without gaging our own happiness by their personal yardstick. Maybe we can challenge ourselves to think critically and realize that it’s a statistical improbability that everyone can achieve the exact same results in the exact same way. Maybe we cut our self some fucking slack and realize we’re doing the best we can with what we have.

I encourage you to place boundaries on your head space and your social media consumption with reckless abandon. Set a time limit for the scroll and then put your devices in a drawer (or download an app) to help you respect that limit. Write the following message on sticky notes and place them where they can’t be avoided: My worth is not measured by someone else’s social media feed. I am a beautiful and worthy human all on my own. Avoid the comments section if you’re in a vulnerable headspace, and if you’re feeling balanced, leave something kind or genuinely constructive or insightful. Be the light you wish to see in the world.

Social media, and the internet at large, has the potential to connect us, to create powerful bonds, to create a better world. It also has the power to show us the darkest parts of our nature. We can’t choose other people’s actions for them, but we can choose to be better versions of ourselves. I’ve been humming the lyrics to a song from Jewel’s 1998 album Spirit a lot as of late.

We've made houses for hatred

If you’ve never heard it before, I highly recommended giving it a listen. It’s a powerful reminder of the best and worst parts of our humanity and the responsibility we bare in creating a better world. For my own part, I’m going on an adventure of self re-discovery. Nurturing and healing the parts of myself that have been long neglected - figuring out what success and a good life actually looks like for me - hopefully spreading a little love and goodwill along the way.

I invite you to join the journey by subscribing to my substack, sharing with friends, and following me on Facebook and Instagram. I can’t promise that I’ll post every single day, but I can promise that I’ll be my fully weird, loud, unapologetic self. Life is too short not to get out there and carpe the damn diem. I’m going to do my very best to seize every opportunity I have to do just that. Big or small, joy is where we choose to find it.