This week we're discussing Making Peace with Our Past with Dr. Dan Allender.

Most of us know our story. We could tell it in five minutes if someone asked. But knowing what happened and actually being free from it are two very different things. For a lot of solo parents, the past shows up uninvited, in a sharp reaction that didn't fit the moment, a fear that surfaces when things finally feel calm, a pattern with your kids you swore you'd never repeat. It doesn't mean you haven't tried. It means the trying might need to go a little deeper. And the longer we avoid that, the more the past quietly runs the present.

In this conversation, Robert Beeson, Founder and CEO of Solo Parent, and Elizabeth Cole, single parent and co-host, sit down with Dr. Dan Allender, a clinical psychologist and author who has spent decades helping people face their stories honestly and find real freedom on the other side. His books The Wounded Heart, The Healing Path, and To Be Told have walked thousands through the hard work of understanding how the past is still shaping the present and what it actually takes to change that. Together they explore why avoidance keeps us stuck, how shame operates and what disarms it, and why grief and anger aren't problems to manage but forces that, held together, can finally move you forward. The conversation is honest, practical, and grounded in real experience from all three voices at the table.

Key Insights from This Episode:

• Ignoring the past doesn't free you. It makes you reactive. The unaddressed past doesn't disappear, it shows up in your parenting, your relationships, and the moments you least expect it.
• Shame has to be faced, defied, and disarmed with kindness. Running from shame guarantees it follows you, but meeting it with defiance and then gentleness is what actually loosens its grip.
• Grief and anger belong together. Each one needs the other. Anger without grief hardens you, grief without anger drowns you, but held together they're what actually moves you forward.

Resources Mentioned in This Episode:

• Dr Dan Allender
  • The Wounded Heart
  • The Healing Path
  • To Be Told

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