Something Needs To Change

Welcome to Something Needs to Change. And here's our next episode. And today

we're going to talk about clarity. And clarity is so important that half the time we don't

even think about it as clarity. So, what the heck is clarity and why do we need it?

So, we talk about wanting it, but what are we actually looking for? Clarity assists us

to understand and find out what is behind something or in a task we're asked to

perform. Clarity helps us understand rather than guess. I looked in some

dictionaries today.

I have a little red pocket dictionary from school, and it's got Elizabeth written on it, form

five, and there was one word that explained clarity, and it said clearer. So I went into

another diary, uh diary, dictionary and it was my mum's, it was a big one, and that

gave me a few more words.

About clarity. So I thought I'd go to AI. Well, of course, I got a lot more out of the AI

than I ever did a dictionary. And this is the day and age that we're in, aren't we? We can

find clarity in a lot more places now.

and have it given to us in ways that we can understand more. So the thing is that

you can delve so deep into AI that we get information overload. We get too much

information and there's a fine line to be drawn there, isn't there?

About digging and digging and digging and just actually accepting what we're told

or what we read. So there's a difference between that fine line and digging to find out

some clarity. And if we're really digging to find some clarity, it's usually because it's on a

personal nature.

So where are times we have or haven't got clarity? Sometimes We do it

naturally. It's our humanness. It's sometimes we do it naturally. It's our humanness.

It's our brains working that we presume. It's not necessarily clarity. There's a

difference between assumption and clarity. Yeah. And. We tend to fill the gaps

with assumptions.

Okay, and that's a big one. So, in my previous pod shot, we talked about conversation

and a looping conversation and About what's actually been said and what do you

take it to mean? Because that's why it keeps looping. But think about a conversation

you've had today or that conversation that's looping and Sometimes comes from

asking the other person.

Sometimes it's from understanding why something is bothering you. So what I want to

ask you is to just actually look inside today and why does clarity matter? Yeah. It starts with what we can be expected to do or what somebody is explaining to

us.

But the most important thing is clarity is truth. It's truth about how somebody wants

something done or somebody is explaining something, especially if it's a partner or a

family member or a work colleague. So think of a time someone has asked you to do

something for them or they've given you extra explanation about a situation without

making it clear where they've been or what they've been doing.

You see where that clarity comes in. And we don't go round and say, give me

clarity. We just ask for an explanation. But sometimes you actually have to say to

somebody, no, be clearer. I want the clarity behind that decision or that situation.

So when that's happened to you, did you know where to start to ask that

question? Did you feel awkward asking? Did you do what thought they wanted.

Because you assumed that you knew. And then when you did something, it was

completely wrong. It wasn't what they wanted at all. Or was there an explanation

of a clarity situation? No. Was their explanation of a situation fully transparent with

clarity?

When you've had personal conversation. So we talked about there about starting. Did

you know where to start? And did you feel awkward asking? Yeah. And doing something

that you thought somebody wanted you to do, but it was wrong. Or you've had a

conversation and you feel that. There wasn't full transparency there on the

clarity of the full situation. So let's turn it back on us. Yeah, so we can assume

that other people know what we mean.

What feels obvious to us is not obvious to other people. It's obvious to us because it's

within us and we know exactly what we want and how we want it. But have we made

ourselves clear or is it a guess? But sometimes people deliberately leave

clarity out of a situation or a conversation.

Your task, if you choose to accept it, when you ask someone do something. pause.

Be clear about what you need and when you need it. Explain the how Otherwise,

leave it to do it their own way. This isn't about micromanaging people or

situations.

It's about giving someone enough information to understand your request. Now, whether

that's you're asking somebody to do something at work or whether you're asking on a

personal situation. or conversation and if you're the one that's left guessing ask

again especially if it's about a personal situation don't let that conversation loop

because if that conversation is looping you haven't got the clarity of what you needed and

what you are asking for.

So if this has brought one particular situation or conversation to you now as we've

been chatting, maybe you'd like talk through it. So send me a message and let's

have a chat. Let's get clear on what you're trying to find. So thank you for listening.

I'm looking forward to our next chat in the next episode. So this is Liz signing off

from Something Needs to Change. And don't forget if a conversation is still looping,

you haven't received the clarity that you needed. Take care now.

That conversation happened days or even weeks ago, but it keeps coming back into your head. Was it something you said, something they said, or something that wasn’t said at all? Before you tell yourself to “just let it go”, it may be worth asking what you’re feeling and whether your thoughts about it are true. Let’s take a few minutes to look at what’s behind the loop.

In this Pod Shot, we talk about:

• How a conversation can keep coming back and leave you feeling uncomfortable or annoyed.
• Looking at what was said, and what wasn’t said.
• Asking yourself whether your thoughts and feelings about it are true.
• Choosing whether to revisit the conversation with the person or reflect on it yourself.
• Writing down a few words about your feelings and what might help you let it go.

If a conversation is still looping for you and you’d like to talk it through contact me on my socials

Did you say yes when you wanted to say no? Or leave a conversation wishing you’d said what you really meant?

Something Needs to Change is for women over 40 who recognise moments like these but aren’t sure how to start changing them. I’m Liz Oakley, a Transformation Mentor, and I’ll talk with you about the everyday situations that affect how you feel, speak and make choices.

These are short, honest Pod Shots. I’ll bring you one situation, another way to look at it and a question that helps you hear what you think.

Expect bite sized solo episodes, with new Pod Shots shared regularly.