A lot of us want things that we think we are owed. We were owed death and hell but God seen otherwise. Some of us question Gods word for us and think we know better. There is a place in your heart that needs filled and during your life you'll try to put things in that hole to try to fill it. Nothing in this world will ever fill that void. Jesus is the ONLY thing that's able to fill that void and He will never leave that void once it's filled with Him. Repeating a prayer, having a prayer prayed over you by the pastor or having your name on a church membership doesn't make you saved or fill that void. If you think you've struck a deal with God that gives you the ability to do what you want (sin) then you've been badly mistaken. You're in the wrong. God has a plan for everyone, it's just a matter of accepting His call in your life. If you avoid His call, He will try to get your attention. Sometimes it takes a lot, sometimes it takes very little to grab your attention. A lot of times folks are scared of what you'll have to give up once you turn your life over to God. God will never leave you and if He calls you, He WILL carry you thru whatever He's called you to do. What God has done for us is just beautiful. We ALL fall short of the Holiness of Gods Glory but repentance and forgiveness gets us closer and closer. When you ask for forgiveness and you get that forgiveness, God doesn't hold it over you but in fact gives the feasts of feasts because He loves you.