March: On Death

March 9

Today's reflection was inspired by another quote from Stephen Crane's Red Badge of Courage.

At my father's wake, as I knelt before his body, I was hit with a wave of questions: Was he there in the room watching this farce of a wake? Was he somewhere else facing judgment as we were taught would happen? Was he just gone? 

No answers came in the form of a random winter breeze despite the closed windows or goosebumps or chills or anything like the books and movies might have you think. No answers came at all. And the longer I knelt, the more I came to realize something: I couldn’t wait for him in life, and I certainly couldn’t wait for him in death. It was time to move on.

Sometimes the dead can teach us more about ourselves than they could in life, but despite having gone there themselves, they still cannot give us the answer to the Question and what’s on the other side. That’s for each of us to find out on our own, all in good time.

• Reflection title: Sometimes, There Is No Answer
• Creative inspiration: Stephen Crane, The Red Badge of Courage.
• Reflection Question: What is my belief of the answer to the Question? Has it changed, and do I believe my belief?