* Proverbs 5:19 tells men not to let themselves be captivated by an adulteress.

* Captivated means we come under someone’s control.

* Captivation is a good thing for a man so long as his captor is his wife.

* Song of Solomon 4 shows us a man who’s completely captivated by his wife.

* How?

* By checking her out! He inspected every square inch of her body and soul and he liked it!

* Then he told her what he liked about her - not just about her external beauty but inward as well.

* vs 1-6 - He mentions her body, eyes, hair, teeth, lips, mouth, temples, neck, and breasts.

* vs 7-15 - He mentions her inward beauty and what it does to him.

* A key to captivation is verbalizing what we feel for our spouse - it will draw us close to them and cause them to open up to us.

* vs 12 - exclusivity - Love is compassion with standards. The standards (boundaries) are what give us exclusivity. Apart from exclusivity there is no intimacy. Apart from intimacy there is no relationship.

* vs 16 - Men were made to pursue. Women were made to respond.

* Proper pursuit involves three steps:

* 1) Focus on the positive in your spouse. Both outside and inside.

* 2) Allow it to attract you to him/her. Appreciation is key to attraction.

* 3) Verbalize what you feel. This draws you and your spouse together. Verbalizing your emotions is like a magnet to the soul.

* When a man pursues like this she will respond, and it will be rewarding.

* SoS 7:1-9 shows how this is done.