Give me Ian Astbutry... with his hair the longest, and blackest. His voice the purest... and his soul the freest!!

Have you ever had to say goodbye to someone you love, and you didn’t even want to? The pit in your stomach won’t go away. Words get caught in your throat. I didn’t want to, and we put it off for about as long as we possibly could… until we couldn’t… and we just had to finally say goodbye.

Even in the midst of a painful goodbye, there are some beautiful memories, moments, and even some spiritual gifts that you can receive and hopefully… some gifts you can give to the other person as well.

https://youtu.be/6BdfidzU9Gw?si=cEInC6u_kqqcWjva - A Lifetime - Better Than Ezra

I know this song is about something different, but the vibe, tone, and feel of it reminds of her and that time. I don’t know exactly what it is…Perhaps it’s lines such as, "Graduation Day," Or, “We were standing on the hood of my car, singing out loud ‘till the sun came up.” Or, “And I know it wasn’t right, but it felt so good…” Maybe it’s the reference to her mother, who's influence was impactful back then and made a lasting impression ... Maybe it's the line, “I could drown in you,” or even, “...Till you pulled me through? Or "No one is allowed to be so proud" I don’t know, but the time we had together, “Felt like a lifetime…”

Oh yeah, there even was an REM song... even though it's not the one sung about or referenced in this song.

https://youtu.be/j7oQEPfe-O8?si=O38z2BEFd7J0unVa - The One I Love - R.E.M.

https://youtu.be/r8OipmKFDeM?si=uLpkww0TXTeSgL8w - Don't Look Back In Anger - Oasis

I have never regretted any of the relationships I’ve had in my life. Any of them! I was with each person because I wanted to be with them. Everyone I was ever involved with was different, unique, and beautiful in their own special way, and I never look back in anger, especially now.

https://youtu.be/HKOuN50Ir-g?si=UFmf0kPju--mZYQ2 - 4am - Our Lady Peace

I’ve never spoken about this particular event, and I won’t go into the details… I can’t… it hurts too much. What I will say is, during this period of time, while I was with “Attendance Girl,” I was supposed to be somewhere... and I wasn’t sure if I could make it. Hence, "And if I don't make it..." I won't go into any more than that...But there was a phone call, and... I never did make it...

In this song they say, “And I hope to God I figure out what’s wrong.”

Did I ever figure out what’s wrong?

Yes, I did…

What was wrong?

Nothing, I’m human… and it’s alright now.

https://youtu.be/ycM4y5-TfAs?si=NJLKbaSeiirTJl7N Sweet Child 'O Mine - Guns And Roses

That next Spring, after our "goodbye," I heard this song. I heard in the right place, at the right time and I thought of her… The following Spring, a year later, I played it again on a day just like the year before. I kept playing that song year after year and… I just kept on doing it. And you know what? I still do to this day. Every Spring, on a gorgeous, bright, sunny day, I take a few minutes, play this song, and I think of her… with fondness and gratitude.